


won't let you down (i'll be there every step of the way)

by Jazer



Series: Destroy the middle, it's a waste of space [5]
Category: Inazuma Eleven, Inazuma Eleven GO
Genre: Atsuya and Shirou will pull a 'Gouenji' on him soon, Atsuya steals cookies, Character Study, Fubuki Atsuya plays piano, Gen, Hugs, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Parental Fubuki Atsuya, Parental Fubuki Shirou, Piggyback Rides, Team as Family, Yukimura Hyouga - centric, Yukimura Hyouga needs a hug, Yukimura doesn't understand why people care about him, Yukimura's aunt is cool but she doesn't do Feelings, birthday fic, but don't worry, but i actually don't know when is yukimura's birthday because they didn't tell us booo, i need one too, oh and they watch tangled because reasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-14 05:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17502365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jazer/pseuds/Jazer
Summary: Sometimes, Hyouga looks two years back, when things were different and wonders what else he could do. Maybe if he did things other way, his parents wouldn't become this way.But this time, he doesn't. He knows he doesn't need to anymore.or: Yukimura's teammates celebrate his birthday and he thinks about the meaning of 'family' that goes outside the bloodlines.





	1. birthday (kitaki-san, can you just, like, chill?)

**Author's Note:**

> at this point, I think i'm just throwing myself at any opportunity to write something and while i lack headcanons and life is shit, i enjoy making my favourite characters suffer.
> 
> and no, i don't have an obsession. 
> 
> aaaanyways, i probably made Atsuya OOC, again. which i apologize for, but not really, because honestly, this one shot was supposed to be 4k at worst, and look at this baby having 10k words instead. well, it was an accident.
> 
> ekhem, anyways, the title is taken from 'in' by simple plan, give it a shot ^_^

Yukimura Hyouga likes to think he’s got his life under control and little things like his parents going away for a two weeks long business trip shouldn’t bother him – in fact, Hyouga as a teenager should be glad they’re leaving him alone. After all he’s in _THAT_ age.

However, Hyouga is lonely.

That’s not to say that it’s a big bad thing – it’s either that or his parents being in the same goddamn room AND ignoring him anyways. If anything, them being away is less painful than them being here and doing absolutely nothing to let Hyouga know they care about him.

Still.

Hyouga wakes up to find out the house is empty and the money’s on the counter with a simple note: “We’ll be back in two weeks, please do take care of the house by then”. Written in his mother’s neat handwriting was also instruction as to what Hyouga should be doing the whole time they’re gone.

His father even threw in his bit, saying in yet another note, “Make sure to practice your hand” making it painfully obvious that Hyouga is still not off the hook with the entire art thing.

 _That’s fine,_ Hyouga thinks, _it’s not like it hasn’t happened before._

However, he can’t help, but feel a little sad and a little disappointed, that they decided to leave two days before his birthday.

Well.

Not like it would make a difference.

 

* * *

 

The thing is: Hyouga is still getting used to teammates who actually like him and talk to him. Before, Hyouga barely had the time to make connections, even less time to appeal to them and convince them that Hyouga isn’t that bad. Between transferring and moving from place to place there was no way of getting to know someone. Fifth Sector didn’t exactly let him either, making sure Hyouga didn’t stay too long in one place.

Hakuren is different.

At Hakuren, Hyouga feels blessed. There’s Itetsuki Touma – a speed skater first, soccer player second and his leg work is amazing- and Itetsuki always makes sure all of them properly stretch after practice. Kou actually described him as the Dad Friend, while Makari Ginjirou has taken the title of the Mom Friend.

Kitaki Tsuneo on the other hand likes to team up with Koori Itsuki and pick on Hyouga, explaining that, “they did not get to tease him as much before because of the old coach”. Hyouga would believe it if not for the fact that they truly seem to enjoy pissing people off, just for fun. Nothing would stop them, not even Fifth Sector.

There’s a lot of good people on Hakuren’s team, but those four stuck to Hyouga the most.

There’s also the fact that Hakuren has two coaches, instead of one. Something all of them had to get used to.

The questions like, “Where’s coach?” often were met with the answer, “which one?” and this must be the funniest thing about the whole situation.

All in one, Hakuren is amazing.

Expect for the times, when they’re all a little TOO annoying the first thing in the morning.

“Hey, guys, the practice starts in two minutes,” Kou reminds patiently that day when everyone seems to be taking forever warming up, “Stop talking and hurry up.”

“Yes, yes, we know,” Koori-san waves his hand at her, “But we’re dealing with an important issue here.”

 “Is it more important that attending practice?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

Kitaki-san looks at her seriously, “Yes.”

Kou only shakes her head with a sigh, “Coach Atsuya will make you run extra laps for that,” she warns.

“We will just make puppy eyes at him,” Itetsuki says dismissively.

Hyouga snorts, “I don’t think this will work.”

All eyes turn to him and Ginjirou finally speaks up over all of them, “Yukimura-san, you realize this whole discussion is literally your fault, right?”

Kou tilts her head at him while Hyouga looks away, uncomfortable with that much attention and shrugs, “I just said it wasn’t a big deal.”

“What isn’t  a big deal?”

Kou whirls around at yet another voice and lets out a breath at seeing Shirou-san standing behind them, “Coach, please make them hurry up.”

Ignoring Koori-san’s yell of “What do you mean, we _ARE_ hurrying up, come on!” Shirou-san looks at all of them, “So? What’s all this about?”

They all look at each other, silently communicating before Kitaki-san glances at Hyouga and Hyouga panics the second the shit-eating grin makes its way onto Kitaki-san’s face. He manages to lung after him while the boy slyly answers, “It’s just that Yukimura doesn’t want to—“

Hyouga slaps his hand on his mouth and glares, “—to run extra laps. Again.”

Kitaki-san says something muffled against the hand and also glares. Koori-san shakes his head, exasperated, while Kou looks just as equally done with them as Ginjirou. In the end, it’s Itetsuki-san that breaks the awkward silence, off-handedly commenting, “I don’t see what the big deal is about either,” he admits, “Yukimura is probably going to celebrate his birthday with his family anyways.”

Hyouga freezes as Shirou-san’s face stills for a second.

“Birthday?” Shirou-san asks just to be sure.

Kou blinks as well then lets out a soft, “Oh. Right,” she looks to Hyouga, kind of insulted, “You never told us when it is either.”

“It’s tomorrow,” Koori-san says while Kitaki-san breaks out of Hyouga’s hold, “We just found out, actually.”

Kitaki-san nods, “And Yukimura doesn’t want to let us throw him a party.”

Shirou-san still seems to be thinking about something, looking at Hyouga, then at Koori-san and Kitaki-san and then, he sighs and asks, “And that couldn’t wait after the practice, why?”

“Because Yukimura disappears after practice and we wouldn’t be able to talk to him,” Itetsuki-san explains and Hyouga wants the floor to swallow him whole, “That. And we just really don’t feel like practicing today.”

Everyone nods as Kou rolls her eyes, “You’re all so lazy, I swear.”

Ginjirou deadpans at her, “We literally ran 20 laps around the outside field  yesterday because Coach Atsuya told us to. And that field is huge, Risuna-san.”

Itetsuki-san seems to be thinking the same, “And since there are no competitions coming up we were just thinking of skipping anyways.”

Kitaki-san hits the back of his head, “You moron! Don’t tell Coach that!”

“Ouch,” Itetsuki-san mumbles, “So mean, Kitaki. So mean.”

“You deserved it!”

Shirou-san clears his throat and everyone immediately shuts up, “So that’s all? You’re too tired to practice after yesterday and the logical conclusion was to come here anyways just to bug Yukimura about his birthday?”

There’s an awkward silence before Kitaki-san breaks it with an embarrassed, “We all already had ours and we still feel kind of bad for treating Yukimura like we did. Before you and Coach Atsuya came. So we thought it would be cool.”

Hyouga freezes again, but this time for another reason. As he glances around he notices that they all look a little guilty. Why? Hyouga doesn’t quite understand that, not when it’s so obvious that it wasn’t their fault former Coach wanted them to isolate Hyouga.

He doesn’t understand the warm feeling in his chest as he hears it, but it still makes Hyouga feel a little better.

“I told you it’s fine,” Hyouga protests weakly.

All of them, now even Kou who crosses her arms, glare at him. Hyouga obediently keeps quiet.

“I guess,” Shirou-san starts, thoughtful, “it wouldn’t be bad to give you a day off.”

Everyone stills, holding their breaths as Shirou-san turns around to wave at Atsuya-senpai to come over to them.

“But,” Hyouga still tries even when Kitaki-san tries to cover his mouth, “Shouldn’t practice take priority? I mean,” he swallows, “I mean, it’s more important that some stupid birthday that happens every year.”

Shirou-san frowns at him. Kou stomps her feet and huffs, “Why can’t you just let us do something nice for you?”

Hyouga purses his lips. Itetsuki looks at him for a moment, “Do you have plans with your family on that day?”

Koori-san interrupts Hyouga before he could even open his mouth, “I heard from Yamada-sensei that his parents went on a business trip.”

Oh. Right. Hyouga forgot Koori-san is in the same class as he and Hyouga was talking with Yamada-sensei about his parents being absent for the teacher-parent meeting because they’re away. He would never guess Koori-san would be so interested as to eavesdrop on that, though.

“Business trip?” Ginjirou repeats.

Hyouga shrugs, “That’s just how it is. They’re busy with work.”

“So you’ll be alone on your birthday,” Koori-san states with a displeased scowl.

Hyouga feels like he accidentally pressed the wrong dialogue option in a game and the sign ‘ _those actions will have consequences_ ’ hangs above his head. The way Koori-san stares at him, and the way Kitaki-san narrows his eyes is an obvious tell-tale of a shit storm coming.

Hyouga nods anyways.  

Shirou-san keeps his eyes locked on him and Hyouga isn’t that closer to Shirou-san, but he can still guess what the man is thinking. It’s probably nothing pleasant and maybe, Shirou-san is even angry at him, because he’s the reason the practice is held back.

He comes back to himself when Atsuya-senpai comes up and asks what’s taking them so long.

“You went too rough on them, Atsuya,” Shirou-san explains for them.

Atsuya-senpai blinks then scowls, “No way. It wasn’t that hard to run those laps, come on.”

“They’re still kids, Atsuya. Sometimes, they need rest.”

“But Aniki! How else will they get better?”

Ginjirou-san lifts his head and says in dry voice, “Maybe giving us a break between those laps would have made it easier, Coach.”

Atsuya-senpai turns to him and huffs, crossing his arms, “As if! You’re all so lazy, I swear. What kind of training did you do when we weren’t around?”

“Easy. We _didn’t_ do any,” Itetsuki-san deadpans.

Atsuya-senpai opens his mouth, then closes it. As he frowns, Shirou-san hums to himself, troubled, “That’s right,” he muses to himself, “I think we both forgot about that, Atsuya. It’s not good to start out so hard at the beginning when they barely trained before.”

Atsuya-senpai grimaces, “Yukimura has no problem keeping on, though.”

Kou raises her hand, shyly, “Yukimura-kun practiced outside school a lot,” she points out as Hyouga turns around, “Back when the old coach isolated him. The rest of the team never did, so that could be why.”

Kitaki-san blinks at Hyouga, awed, “Dude. Can you stop being so cool?”

As Hyouga splutters, embarrassed, Shirou-san cuts back in, “We will have to think of a way to change that,” he says, “So you won’t be so run down as you are now.”

Atsuya-senpai nods, although a bit more reluctantly, “That could be easily avoided if you all told us about it sooner. There’s no pushing you if it’s only going to harm you.”

Itetsuki-san grins, “Are you worried, Coach?”

Atsuya-senpai glares at him, “Shut it, rascal.”

Itetsuki snorts a laugh, Shirou-san shakes his head, “In any case, this is clearly an advantage for you.”

Kitaki-san perks up, “We can throw Yukimura a party then!”

Hyouga vigorously shakes his head, waving his hands around, “No!”

Koori-san joins in, “Yes!”

Itetsuki-san peers at them and sees the way Hyouga hunches his shoulder, clearly uncomfortable. After exchanging looks with Ginjirou-san, they both nod.

“That’s all fun and stuff, but,” Itetsuki-san  glances at all of them, “Have you asked Yukimura if he wanted a party?”

Sheepish silence follows as Kitaki-san answers, “But Yukimura would have said no even if he wanted one,” he complains.

Hyouga mumbles, “Not true,” as Ginjirou-san raises an eyebrow.

“Maybe Yukimura would prefer something simple, like a movie night or a sleepover instead?” he suggests, but it’s clear that he also noticed Hyouga going quieter and quieter as they talked and he didn’t like it, “Not everyone likes to be overwhelmed like you all.”

Kou turns to Shirou-san and Atsuya-senpai, “Would it be alright to organize something like this?”

“Why are you asking us when it’s Yukimura that has to agree?” Atsuya-senpai asks a little irritated at the same thing Itetsuki-san and Ginjirou-san noticed.

Kou actually turns red at that and turns to Hyouga, “Can we?”

Hyouga would rather go home, the whole discussion wearing him down, but he shrugs, “It’s not a big deal. You don’t have to.”

Kitaki-san nudges his shoulder, “But we want to.”

Koori-san smiles, “Everyone deserves to feel special on their birthday, Yukimura.”

Ginjirou-san nods, “But if you truly don’t wish to attend something like this, it’s okay, too.”

Although both Koori-san and Kitaki-san look disappointed at that, they still agree. Itetsuki-san turns to Hyouga and ruffles his head, “So no pressure, but we all would like to do it.”

Hyouga is not used to making decisions, at all. The times when he had to chose were usually involving his mother or father making the decision for him and never letting him voice his protest. Something like this now is totally unfamiliar to Hyouga and he isn’t sure what to do.

He glances at Shirou-san, hesitant.

Shirou-san seems to understand what he needs, because he nods slightly.

Hyouga stares at him for a moment, before he turns to Kitaki-san, “As long as it’s not a party, it’s fine with me.”

Kitaki-san and Koori-san high five themselves as Ginjirou-san sighs at their antics. Itetsuki-san only shakes his head.

 

* * *

 

On the day of his birthday, Hyouga arrives at the given address and decides that it’s not really THAT bad.

Or at least, it’s not as bad as it could be. Not if you count the way Kou glares at Kitaki-san guiltily stuffing the pack of rainbow balloons with different writings on them back into the shelf and the way Koori-san kicks a stray confetti under the table.

Ginjirou-san and Itetsuki-san look equally done with them.

“I hope you don’t mind the small space,” Shirou-san says quietly from beside him, “It’s technically the team’s day off, but we still have to make sure you don’t hurt yourself.”

Atsuya-senpai pipes in from his place against the door to the hallway, “Yeah. You brats probably still don’t know how to use a knife. You’re like, ten.”

Itetsuki-san glances at him, “We’re fourteen.”

The man waves his hand dismissingly, “Same thing.”

“It really is not,” Itetsuki-san deadpans.

Atsuya-senpai narrows his eyes at him, then glances at Hyouga, “Well, anyways. We can’t trust you, rascals.”

 Shirou-san looks at his brother for a long time, a fond smile on his face, before he turns to the group and crosses his arms, “Okay, we will be in the kitchen if any of you need us. You can do your thing, Kitaki-kun.”

Kitaki-san grins. Kou face-palms herself, “Coach, why did you say that to him?”

Shirou-san only gives her another smile while Atsuya-senpai smirks and they both disappear in the kitchen. Only then does Hyouga turn to all of them, feeling a little out of place because of all that attention.

Ginjirou-san clears his throat, “How about we start with presents?”

Hyouga’s mind halts.

_Presents?_

“Oh, I think we should eat the cake first,” Kou suggests, “It’s still fresh so it will taste the best.”

_A… a cake?_

Itetsuki-san stuffs his hands in his pockets and seems to be looking at Hyouga instead of the rest of them and narrows his eyes. Hyouga thinks that the boy can actually see how overwhelmed and awkward he’s feeling. A fitting trait of someone who’s became the group’s Dad. Instead of calling him out on it, Itetsuki returns his gaze to Kou.

“We should leave the gifts for later,” he says as she looks at him, “So Yukimura can open them alone, without Kitaki breathing down his neck,” the last bit makes Kitaki-san yell out an offended ‘hey!’, but Itetsuki continues, unbothered, “Eat the cake, then watch the movie. We could do something in between, but this should work best.”

Koori-san nods slowly, “He’s right, let’s do that.”

Ginjirou-san sends a quick look at Hyouga, “Is that okay?”

“Sure,” is what Hyouga says because he doesn’t know how to convey the feelings of gratitude and amazement for his – dare he say – friends, who not only organized all this, not only brought gifts and made sure Hyouga was comfortable, they also didn’t comment on the way Hyouga seems to react.

It’s the first time, he realizes as they sit down by the table in the living room, that he has his birthday celebrated like this.

His mother and father, back before things got out of hand, used to wish him happy birthday in the morning, and afterwards, his mom would kiss his cheek and say she’s proud of him. His father always made sure to compliment his progress on art. There were still times where soccer wasn’t as big part of Hyouga’s life as it was now.

He thinks he doesn’t mind that his parents aren’t here now. There’s no stiffness or coldness in a way they all sing around him. Hyouga’s half sure the mood wouldn’t be as good in his house, where walls are white instead of warm yellow and brown. He makes a mental note to thank Atsuya-senpai and Shirou-san for inviting them over.

“Oi, Yukimura,” Koori-san snaps his fingers in front of him, “You have to make a wish.”

Hyouga blinks.

“A wish?”

Kou smiles gently, gesturing to the cake on the table that Hyouga didn’t notice before, “Oh. Right.”

“Come on! Blow out the candles and make a wish!” Kitaki-san demands impatiently, leaning forwards, “We have limited time here, Yukimura. My mom wants me to help out with the night shift.”

Sensing the reluctance in his frowns at him, “You don’t sound happy about it, Kitaki-san.”

“Well, duh,” he answers, as it was obvious, “I want to spend time with you guys.”

“It seems we all got time limit,” Ginjirou cuts in, “My parents expect me home early too.”

“Same here,” the rest of them voices.

Hyouga’s heart does a weird thing, as if honey was poured at it, because the fact that Kitaki-san was annoyed was one thing, and another was that Kitaki-san was annoyed because he wanted to spend more time with them, which meant that he liked Hyouga. Same went to the rest of them.

They wanted to hang out with him. On his birthday. They didn’t throw him a party because he was uncomfortable with the idea of it. They brought him gifts. They brought _CAKE._ They thought of everything and not once did Hyouga feel like a burden or inconvenience.

He smiles softly at that thought.

He closes his eyes and blows out the candles. They all clap their hands and Hyouga can’t keep his smile from widening.

“What did you wish for, Yukimura-kun?” Kou asks quietly when she begins to cut the cake.

Hyouga glances in the direction of the kitchen, muffled voices coming from it, then he looks around all of them, stuffing their mouths with cake and he shrugs, “If I tell you, it won’t come true.”

Kou snorts, but she nods with a grin, “I guess you’re right.”

Hyouga never tells her that his wish already came true.

 

* * *

 

It’s  half past five PM when they all decide it’s time to go home and the thought that Hyouga has to get going  and leave Atsuya-senpai’s and Shirou-san’s place where he genuinely feels wanted, makes something inside him ache. He keeps a brave face through the last minutes of Coco – the movie they all ended up watching – and tries to not show anyone how much he just doesn’t want to come back to an empty house.

Some of them notice that something is off, despite Hyouga’s efforts. Kou and Itetsuki seem to just sense whenever something is wrong, and Ginjirou while suspicious, doesn’t really give a feeling that he knows.

All of them gather their bags when Hyouga moves to pick up the dirty plates.

“Oi, what are you doing?” Atsuya-senpai asks, walking into the living room. Hyouga feels a split second panic, before he remembers that nothing wrong actually happened and Atsuya-senpai isn’t there to hurt him.

It’s weird, how the simplest of things make Hyouga feel like a bother, “I’m just,” he hesitates, looking down at the dishes in his hands, “Cleaning up?”

Atsuya-senpai crosses his arms, “Why?”

“Uh.”

“Kitaki-kun,” Shirou calls out from the kitchen, “Bring me the plates, alright?”

“Yes, sir!”

Koori-san actually looks sheepish as he walks up to the table with Kitaki-san, “Sorry, Yukimura,” he mumbles, “We’re the ones who organized this and left you with all that.”

Hyouga blinks when Kitaki-san grabs the dishes from his hands and swiftly moves to the kitchen, “I don’t mind…” he trails off just as someone else comes into the room.

“Ah!” Kou gasps, “A kitty!”

Atsuya-senpai raises an eyebrow at her, then looks back to Nana rubbing herself on Hyouga’s leg. For some reason, the gesture makes Hyouga wonder if Nana can sense if someone is sad. All the times he’s been here, she never hesitated to show up and climb all over him. It’s nice.

Hyouga kneels in front of her as Koori-san moves to kitchen with Ginjirou-san. Kou, however, walks up to Hyouga and takes place beside him, eyes sparkling at the white cat. Itetsuki-san shudders and stays away – Hyouga thinks he may  some kind of unspoken dislike of them.

“He’s so cute!” Kou gushes, bringing back Hyouga’s attention to her.

“She,” he corrects, absentmindedly, reaching out his hand to pet her, “Her name is Nana.”

Nana perks up at the mention of her name and meows at him, leaning into his touch. Hyouga’s heart kind of melts at that.

Kou is looking at him strangely, as if she’s seeing him for the first time. Then, she sighs, “You don’t want to go home, do you?”

Hyouga freezes for a second, before he allows a sad smile to appear on his face, “I told you it’s not a big deal.”

Kou is silent for a moment, clearly searching for the right words, before she speaks up again, “I could ask my parents—“

“It’s fine,” Hyouga cuts her off, not unkindly, “I got used to it.”

Kou looks pained at that, “Yukimura-kun…”

“It’s okay,” he repeats as if repeating it enough times made it that way, as if Hyouga tried to convince himself that he doesn’t mind being alone, he would eventually forget how many times he cried himself to sleep, simply because he was so lonely all the time, “I have you all now.”

Nana stops her meowing and seems to glare at him. Kou opens her mouth to say something, maybe to insist on him coming over, when Atsuya-senpai clears his throat. Hyouga reluctantly looks up as Kou stands up.

“I will drive all of you home,” he announces, “So all of you make sure you have your bags. I’m not coming back twice if you forget something.”

Kou mutters something under her breath, before Hyouga blinks, “Isn’t your car a bit too little to fit all of us, Coach?”

Kitaki-san and Koori-san come out of the kitchen, followed by Shirou-san drying his hands on the towel, “It is. That’s why Kitaki-kun and Ginjirou-kun are being picked up by their parents.”

Kou frowns, “What about—“

“Oh, my mom will pick me up,” Koori-san pipes in, “And Touma, too.”

Shirou-san nods, glancing out of the window, “Is your mom’s car red?”

“Yeah.”

“I think she’s outside, then,” he says, “Same with Kitaki-kun’s dad and Ginjirou-kun’s parents.”

Hyouga stays exactly where he is when all four of them say goodbye to them and leave. Nana rubs herself on his knee, letting out a sad mewl. Hyouga’s heart breaks a little at that and Kou must think the same because her eyes are downcast, staring at the scene.

“See?” Atsuya-senpai grins, “That leaves just two of you.”

Kou slings her bag on her shoulder, but Hyouga hesitates.

He could, technically… accept her offer, couldn’t he? Maybe if Hyouga—

“It’s gonna be pain to take all of your stuff, though,” Atsuya-senpai continues, as Shirou-san’s eyes swept around the room, “Seriously, whose idea was it to get you so much stuff?”

Kou looks at the gifts on the table, eight packages in total and she frowns, “There should five of them,” she says slowly.

Hyouga doesn’t want to look at them, but he knows there’s no reason for stalling, so he pets Nana’s head for the last time, before he stands up, “Probably Kitaki-san’s,” he answers, “Maybe he added something funny.”

There’s unreadable look on Shirou-san’s face, as if he knows something Hyouga doesn’t, but before he can ask, Atsuya-senpai claps him on the back, probably a little too hard, “Alright. Take your stuff, we’re going.”

Kou doesn’t move for a moment and seems to make a decision in that one second that Hyouga tries to fit all of the gifts into his bag, “Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?”

Atsuya-senpai stops by the door and Shirou-san pauses with his hands on his coat. As Hyouga turns to look at her, he knows he wants to come – he knows that any opportunity to not be alone is something Hyouga craves.

Still, he gives her a smile and scratches the back of his neck, “I’m sure,” he lies, “Thank you for offering.”

Kou worries her bottom lip, but she nods. She knows Hyouga is stubborn enough to fight her on this, even if it’s something he personally wants. He’s not the type of person to take if he can’t pay someone back in some way. At least not when it comes to his peers.

“Anytime,” she says in a tight voice.

 _It was supposed to be fun_ , she thinks, glancing at him zipping up his bag, gifts sticking out just a little, _but he looks even sadder now._

“Oi! What’s taking you too so long?” Atsuya-senpai calls out at last.

Hyouga doesn’t notice Kou having internal battle with herself and passes her by without a word. After a second, she follows him out of the house.

 

* * *

 

“Say, Yukimura,” Atsuya-senpai says to Hyouga after they drive back Kou, “Did you open your gifts?”

Shirou-san glances at Hyouga when he shakes his head, “Not really.”

Just when they ate the cake (which was delicious, let Hyouga say that), they watched _Coco_ up until the end and gave him gifts, but they didn’t really have the time to stay and see what Hyouga got. It’s not like he minds, he’s not sure he knows how to properly thank for one.

He still wonders about extra three gifts. Maybe Kitaki-san really threw in something stupid, he’s always nagging Hyouga that he doesn’t smile enough.

“Gifts are the best thing in birthdays,” Atsuya-senpai pouts, “I wanted to see what you got.”

Shirou-san looks at him disapprovingly, “Atsuya!”

Atsuya-senpai just shrugs, “Alright, fine. I would still like to see his face when he gets to _you-know-what._ ”

Hyouga brushes it off as their usual banter, because it’s not long before they reach his house and Hyouga is reminded of the fact that he absolutely doesn’t want to get out the car. He kind of regrets not taking Kou’s offer.

He wonders what his parents are doing. His mother seemed… different, when she was leaving. Maybe, maybe they both just wanted some space to think things through. Maybe they didn’t hate Hyouga that much.

 _They still didn’t love you enough to not hit you from time to time,_ a voice whispers into his head.

Hyouga’s face twists into a scowl, because that’s true – at the same time, he doesn’t know why they would let  themselves hurt him like that. One part of him thinks he deserved it, every slap for speaking out of line. The other part – the one Hyouga worked hard to hide – knew it wasn’t fair, that Hyouga just wanted to be free of their expectations.

_Did he… ask for too much?_

“We’re here,” Shirou-san’s quiet voice brings him out of his thoughts.

Hyouga’s heart is heavy in his chest and he wants nothing more than stay there, in the comforting presence of two adults that made him feel like he didn’t have to be constantly put down and forced to do something he didn’t want to do. But asking to stay would be too selfish.

“Right,” he mumbles, moves slow as he gets out of his seatbelt, “Thank you for driving me here, Coach.”

His hand is on the handle, eyes looking out of the window to glance at his house. In the light of sun setting down, his house should look warm, inviting, like in the movies, but despite that, it looks cold. Empty. Like it’s made of ice. In contrast to Miyuki-san’s place, it’s awful and unwelcome.

He sighs, quietly and just as he’s opening the door, his phone rings.

There’s a foolish hope that maybe his parents are calling to wish him happy birthday, so he fishes out his phone and answers without looking at the ID. Atsuya-senpai throws him a look over his shoulder.

“Hello?”

“Hyouga,” his mother’s voice speaks through, “Are you home?”

He tightens his fingers on the handle and answers, “I’m about to be. Is something—?”

“Then I take it you already cleaned up?”

“Clean up?”

“The house. We told you to do it before we left, didn’t we?”

“Ah, uh. Yes,” his stutters out, any kind of hope he had frizzling out like light, “I did.”

“Good,” somehow his mother has a way of saying a praise but not making it sound like one, it’s a cold reminder that no matter what happens, some things just don’t change, “I expect it to be pristine when we come back, too.”

Hyouga’s throat is tight, like there’s something stuck in it, “Yes.”

The call ends just like this, with Hyouga feeling like a failure, despite not doing anything wrong and shaky hands that barely manage to hide the phone in the pocket of his bag.

“Yukimura?” Shirou-san asks quietly, “Is everything okay?”

Hyouga wants to say that no, it’s not. That his parents probably forgot about his birthday or just didn’t care at all. That he doesn’t want to come back home because it’s so damn empty. But he can’t force the words out of his throat. He never could, maybe if he did, he wouldn’t have to feel this way.

He tries to smile, but he knows it comes out lame and fake. He’s half way out of the car when Atsuya-senpai’s sharp voice cuts through the breezy weather, “Oi, Yukimura, wait a second.”

“I need to—“

“You don’t really want to go in there, do you, Yukimura?”Atsuya-senpai asks in a voice that tells Hyouga that it’s not a question, that Atsuya-senpai knows Hyouga would rather be anywhere else than there. The fact that he’s aware of that makes Hyouga freeze on the spot, “You’ve been acting off the whole day.”

“Atsuya…,” Shirou-san says warningly.

Atsuya-senpai doesn’t stop there. It makes Hyouga remember that the man isn’t stupid, he isn’t totally dense either and if he wants to, he can be more observant than Shirou-san. He picks on the smallest stuff – on things that Hyouga is not able to hide or cover up entirely.

“Aniki, you can’t tell me you’re okay with this.”

Shirou-san throws him indignant look, “Of course I’m not!”

Hyouga turns around in his seat, hand slipping completely off the handle and he tries to cut it, he really does, because he doesn’t want them fighting over him, it’s not fair, but just as the words come out, Atsuya-senpai throws his arms in the air and says, “All I’m saying is that we do have a guestroom anyways and you’ll be brooding about him staying alone AGAIN, and I honestly don’t want to listen to that while we watch TV, it’s anticlimactic.”

Shirou-san narrows his eyes, “I don’t brood.”

Atsuya-senpai gives him a look, “I’m sorry, was that your twin complaining a week ago? Perhaps I should tell Yukimura about—“

“Alright, fine,” Shirou-san cuts him off, “I get it.”

Atsuya-senpai throws him a satisfied grin, before he turns serious and glances at Hyouga, “So?”

Hyouga swallows, “So, what?”

Atsuya-senpai begins muttering about “having to spell it out for the kid, seriously, Aniki, how oblivious can he be?” as Shirou-san explains in a voice more soothing that Atsuya-senpai’s aggressive one, “We never did have that Disney marathon, did we, Yukimura?”

“Disney marathon…?” Hyouga repeats, not understanding.

Atsuya-senpai face-palms himself, “Aniki, just tell him he can come with us, so I don’t have to watch this sad exchange.”

Hyouga frowns, offended, before Atsuya-senpai’s words catch up with him and he blinks, “I can come with you?”

Shirou-san ignores Atsuya-senpai’s mutter of ‘finally he gets that’, and answers, “Yes.”

Hyouga stares at him, “Why?”

Atsuya-senpai lets out an anguished whine, “ _Aniki,_ ” he drawls out, “Would you mind?”

“Because it’s your birthday,” Shirou-san explains patiently because somehow he knows it’s hard for Hyouga to accept that people want him around, “And I think that nobody should be alone on their birthday.”

“Seems like your stupid parents don’t get that, huh?”

“Atsuya!”

“It’s true!”Atsuya-senpai complains.

Hyouga coughs to get their attention, heart pounding, “I can come with you?”

“That’s what I said,” Atsuya-senpai says dryly, while Shirou-san answers with a firm, “Yes.”

Hyouga fidgets with his hands, “And I won’t be a bother?”

“Why would you be—“

“Of course not,” Shirou-san looks at him, “You know none of us would ever do anything we wouldn’t want to.”

“Okay.”

Atsuya-senpai glances at him, suspicious, “Well, that was easy.”

“Are you sure, Yukimura?”

“Yeah,” Hyouga breathes, closing the door, “I want to.”

Shirou-san nods then as Atsuya-senpai turns on the engine, “Alright. We could’ve been home literally half an hour earlier if you weren’t so stubborn.”

“Atsuya! Don’t pressure him!”

“I’m not!”

Hyouga lets their banter wash over him, like a comforting blanket.

 

* * *

 

“You told us about your parents, that day,” Shirou-san starts as they get out of the car and go inside the house, “About how they made art into something that hurts you.”

Hyouga still feels the familiar panic at the mention of that. Still knows that he shouldn’t have told them that much, that it could get him in trouble. After all, Hyouga doesn’t have it that bad, and if he needs to suffer a little but his parents are okay, that’s what matters, right?

Except, that’s not how Atsuya-senpai or Shirou-san think.

“I didn’t say it like that,” he protests weakly, “I just said—“

He cuts himself off, seeing Atsuya-senpai’s glare at him. There’s no point in arguing with both of them.

“Right,” Shirou-san takes of his coat and hangs it beside Atsuya’s, “I was just wondering about something.”

Hyouga feels panic grip at his heart, feels the way his palms get sweaty and he clears his throat, “Oh.”

Atsuya-senpai’s eyes go over him, stopping at Hyouga’s poorly hidden shaking hands, and then he looks at Shirou-san, shaking his head a little. Hyouga doesn’t know what that means, but it makes Shirou-san frown and nod at his brother.

Hyouga gulps and tries to get rid of the dryness in his mouth.

Are they going to talk about his parents? Will Hyouga have to explain? He doesn’t think he can. No. He can’t. Not yet. It’s too fresh and he doesn’t want to remember that his parents aren’t the best to begin with.

Shirou-san smiles at him and places a hand on his shoulder and it’s so sudden that Hyouga jerks his eyes to look at him, “You’re cold, aren’t you?”

Oh. Maybe he thinks his hands are shaking from the cold.

As Hyouga opens his mouth to answer, he realizes that not only his hands are shaking, but his whole body too. He’s too surprised by that fact to say anything, but Shirou-san still steers him away from the door and to the living room, gently sitting him down on the couch, “The weather’s terrible,” Shirou-san talks over Hyouga’s sluggish thoughts, “Not too bad, though, don’t you think, Yukimura?”

“Yeah,” he stutters out.

“Maybe we could go ice-skating one day?” he suggest and it feels like a change of topic and Hyouga doesn’t know why but Shirou-san’s voice is like an anchor, “I heard you ice-skate.”

Hyouga shivers and hugs himself, as if to shield himself from the invisible enemy, “My mom taught me.”

Ah.

Right.

Because his mom wasn’t always bad, was she?

There’s a sudden weight on Hyouga and he slowly registers being wrapped in a blanket. The material is soft and doesn’t make Hyouga recoil from it. It’s warm and comforting and it seeps through Hyouga’s tired bones like a cure.

“We could all go one day,” Shirou-san continues, although there’s something else in his usually gentle eyes, something unreadable that appears every time Hyouga mentions his parents, “If Atsuya is up to it.”

“Maybe if you don’t show off again,” Atsuya-senpai says from behind them with a remote in his hand, “Because we both know how it went the last time.”

Shirou-san merely grins, before he stands up, “I can’t promise anything.”

Atsuya-senpai turns on the DVD but before he sits down next to Hyouga, he leans down and whispers, “We can both team up and beat him, what do you say?” and then he ruffles Hyouga’s hair, looking at him a second longer than usual, making sure Hyouga knows it, before he sits down, “He’s awfully good at it. But don’t ever tell him I said that, because he will never let me live it down.”

Hyouga snorts, “I can do that.”

“Good,” Atsuya-senpai comments then shouts over his shoulder, “Oi, Aniki! What are we watching first?”

Shirou-san is silent for a moment standing in front of the shelf with all of their movies, “How about _Tangled?”_

Atsuya-senpai stills for a second. Hyouga throws him a questioning look, but before he can ask what’s wrong, Atsuya-senpai grins, “Yeah, sure. Why not.”

And that’s how they end up watching Tangled. At first, Hyouga thinks it’s just a movie – like it wouldn’t make him sad like _Coco_ , because _Coco_ was different. It was moving and touching, but Hyouga personally couldn’t really relate to it. And that was fine, it was still a good movie.

He grips the blanket tighter as the movie goes on, with Gothel, the mother of Rapunzel, going from sweet and caring, to being more controlling and cold. He sees her as she is, for the most part, not really noticing it at first, before Gothel actually starts to scare Hyouga.

Hyouga tries to make himself smaller on the couch, feeling like he takes too much space already.

Shirou-san glances at him immediately, “You okay, Yukimura?”

‘ _Mother knows best’_ is ringing in Hyouga’s ears just like it was the first half of the movie. Those words burn something in Hyouga, something unexplainably painful to remember and Hyouga thinks he’s forcing his thoughts to quiet down, because he doesn’t want to think why those words hurt as much as they do. He just wants to focus on the moment, not dwell in the past.

Except, Hyouga knows, better than anyone, that until you defeat the past it will just come and come in waves when you least expect it and ruin whatever happiness you manage to salvage.

“Yukimura?” Shirou-san asks again.

“I’m fine, Shirou-san,” Hyouga mumbles out, eyes on the screen, “I’m fine.”

 _‘You want me to be the bad guy? Fine.’_ Says Gothel to Rapunzel.

Hyouga feels it before it even happens, the pressure on his chest, the stinging in his eyes and the way his lip trembles and he doesn’t know why; he doesn’t know why Gothel is so scary or why Hyouga can actually relate to Rapunzel and understand the way she keeps coming back to Gothel despite her being bad and he doesn’t get why Rapunzel struggles with feeling happy and thinking it makes her a terrible person because her mother wouldn’t like it.

It’s not until the final sequence where Rapunzel heals Eugene that it hits Hyouga like a ball to a face and his breath hitches.

His mother is _exactly_ like Gothel.

The realization seems to make cold spread all over his body, enwrapping it in like freezing air outside and Hyouga stands up, abandoning blanket that begins to feel like a prison. Shirou-san startles at that while Atsuya-senpai looks a little annoyed at being interrupted.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” he chokes out.

“The first room on the left,” Shirou-san instructs but something must have showed on Hyouga’s face, because he peers at his face, “Yukimura, are you okay?”

He flies to the bathroom before they can see the tears in the corners of his eyes and locks the door behind him, sliding down against it to sit on the floor. The heavy pressure on his chest makes him gasp for breath, room making itself smaller and smaller, so he closes his eyes.

He imagines what it would be like, if he told someone. What would happen if let himself cry and let himself be comforted. What it would feel like to cry for himself, instead of for others – but he doesn’t know, he’d never know because he would never be able to feel sorry for himself the way he does for Rapunzel.

He digs his nails into his arms, and tries to breathe deeply. It feels like he’s getting stabbed, over and over again.

He doesn’t want to name it – what his mother has been doing with it up until now. It’s easier to say that to Gothel – because she doesn’t exist, she’s just fiction – to point out how neglectful she has been to Rapunzel growth.

He knows now, what that is.

But no matter how strong Hyouga is, he’s not ready to admit that yet.

He goes back to the living room, Nana crawling on top of his lap and pretends to not see the way Shirou-san’s face twists into a conflicted frown or the way Atsuya-senpai angrily bites into his marshmallow.

 

* * *

 

 “I wish I was Rapunzel,” he whispers when Shirou-san joins Atsuya-senpai in the kitchen, leaving Hyouga alone in the living room.

Nana puts her paw on his hand.

Hyouga scratches her behind her ears, “Would you be my Pascal?” Nana lets out a displeasured meow and Hyouga pauses, “You’re right. You’re more like Maximus, huh?”

As Nana nuzzles his hand, Hyouga’s thoughts start to wander to Gothel again, but before he can make himself lose his last piece of dignity, he remembers that he technically still haven’t opened any of the gifts.

He spots his bag by the table and hoists it up onto the couch, opening it and taking out the first gift – wrapped in a snowy white paper with yellow stars on it and a ribbon on top. Hyouga shakes it a little, noticing that it’s fairly light. Before he can rip it open, he hesitates.

If he makes a mess—

His thoughts process is stopped when Atsuya-senpai flicks him in the forehead, making Hyouga yelp and touch it with a wince, “You never stop overthinking, do you?”

Hyouga doesn’t dignify that with a response, knowing that Atsuya-senpai doesn’t expect one, not when he sounds so resigned and irritated. He just glares at the man, hoping he gets the hint.

Atsuya-senpai blinks, “What?”

“That hurt, you know,” he says, referring to his forehead.

Atsuya-senpai rolls his eyes, “I barely touched you, come on. Don’t be so dramatic.”

“I learned from the best,” Hyouga says, pointedly looking at him.

Atsuya-senpai narrows his eyes at him, before he throws himself on the couch and waves his hand, “You can go ahead and open it.”

“But—“

“If you’re worried about the mess, Atsuya will gladly clean up after you,” Shirou-san joins in with his own cup of tea, “Won’t you?”

“Never,” Atsuya-senpai deadpans.

Shirou-san rolls his eyes, but he also sits back down on the couch and looks at Hyouga still wearily glancing at the nicely packed gift, “It’s really okay.”

Perhaps Hyouga is just too tired to argue, because he nods his agreement and slowly unwraps the ribbon, ripping off the paper (still trying to not make TOO much of a mess, but failing miserably when Atsuya-senpai promptly kicks stray fragments so they’re all over the floor. Why? Hyouga thinks it’s to reassure  him that they literally don’t give a shit about the mess).

Hyouga opens the box and takes out a—

“Is that what I think it is?” Atsuya-senpai breaks the silence.

“A drawing kit,” Hyouga clarifies, although with a distant look in his eyes as he looks it over, fingers tightening  on the small metal frame.

Shirou-san glances at him, “You don’t have to use it if you don’t want,” he says, albeit a little unsurely of Hyouga’s reaction.

“It’s fine,” he says, putting it in his bag, “I ran out of pencils last week and Dad—“ he cuts himself off, swallowing down as he takes out another gift, “Anyways,” he continues, “It’s cool. It was probably Kitaki-san, he asked me about it at school yesterday.”

Shirou-san sighs, “Yukimura—“

“Oh! That one is signed,” Hyouga cuts him off, looking at snowflakes on the paper, “Mi-yu-ki,” he reads off slowly under his breath, waits a second for it to sink in then lets out a soft, “ _Oh.”_

Atsuya-senpai snorts at Hyouga’s expression. Shirou-san hits him with the back of his head.

“Miyuki-san…,” Hyouga blinks a couple times, “Miyuki-san got me a gift?”

“She dropped it off earlier,” Shirou-san explains, “She said she didn’t want to intrude on the party and would greet you tomorrow anyways.”

When Hyouga stays silent for too long, Atsuya-senpai clears his throat awkwardly, “I’m gonna go get myself coffee,” he excused himself.

If Hyouga wasn’t so perplexed by what happened, he’d laugh at Atsuya-senpai’s quick retreat to the kitchen the moment it became too emotional for his taste. It’s clear as the morning’s sky that Shirou-san is more equipped dealing with kids, anyways.

“That’s nice,” Hyouga mumbles.

Shirou-san looks at him, “Did you think she wouldn’t get you something?”

As Hyouga busies his hands with opening it, he answers, “I mean, my parents didn’t care, so,” then, realizing that it’s not a normal thing to say and that it leaves his parents in a bad light, he backtracks, “I mean, they do. Of course. They’re just busy—And besides—“

“Yukimura,” Shirou-san’s usually kind voice cuts through his rambling.

Hyouga swallows, ducking his head, “It’s t-true,” he stutters out, “They care, it’s just—“

“ _Hyouga_ ,” the use of his first name takes back Hyouga to that moment in the gym and he snaps his head up, staring into Shirou-san darkened grey eyes as if the man was holding back something mean, “I appreciate you trying to save their face, but you don’t honestly expect me or Atsuya, or even Miyuki, to believe you when you say that, do you?”

It’s kind of scary to look at Shirou-san this way, knowing that the man is not dumb and not as oblivious as he seems, and while he is kind and caring, he can get angry. But Shirou-san’s anger doesn’t show like Atsuya-senpai’s – it’s not loud and outward, but it’s a quiet flare in his eyes and subtle way his body tenses, like he’s trying to not say something he might regret.

It’s all fun until Shirou-san snaps.

And silence, it always terrified Hyouga.

“They—they love me,” Hyouga insists, but it’s not enough to fool anyone, especially not someone like Fubuki Shirou, “They’re just—busy and stuff. I get it, so it’s—okay.”

His eyes don’t change as Shirou-san comments, “So it’s okay for your parents to just leave you for weeks after doing everything they can to make sure you’re unhappy, it’s okay for them to come to school behind your back to take you off the soccer club and it’s fine if they hit you when you try to do something about it?”

Hyouga’s frozen in his seat, “They don’t,” he stumbles on his words, “they don’t hurt me, they care--“

“’They don’t hurt me’, you say,” Shirou-san repeats and when Hyouga hears it, it’s like the most pathetic thing Hyouga ever said, “Don’t hurt you? Then you don’t care about all the times you came—“

“Aniki,” Atsuya-senpai goes back into the living room, face unreadable, but his knuckles are white on the cup he’s holding, “Aniki, I think you need to calm down.”

Shirou-san glances at him, almost angrily, but Atsuya-senpai doesn’t back down and glares back, then the man finally looks back at cowering Hyouga on the couch and finally, finally his eyes soften, “I’m sorry,” he says, “I didn’t want to yell.”

“It’s my fault,” Hyouga blurts out, but his hands are shaking anyways, “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not fine,” Shirou-san sighs, sliding his hand down his face, “I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”

Hyouga nods, “Okay.”

Shirou-san narrows his eyes at him, but this time it’s Atsuya-senpai that speaks up, “You know, Aniki is right. Your parents are assholes for making you feel like it’s okay to be used like an object to fulfill their own ambitions.”

And…

And what is Hyouga supposed to say to that? That he agrees? That he knows it’s not fair?

That he comes back home either to be ignored or to berated and it hurts so much more knowing that despite that, Hyouga loves his parents anyways? That every time he thinks he hates them, he’s feeling guilty and they start being nice so it’s even harder to convince himself that he’s not going crazy, that he’s not the one at fault?

At last, he grips at the box in his lap and stares straight ahead, with voice just a little above a whisper, “They’re my family. I can’t just get up and leave.”

Atsuya-senpai is actually stunned by that response and Hyouga doesn’t know why, but Shirou-san also looks troubled, so he guesses it’s something he said.

“They hurt you,” Shirou-san finally finds his voice.

He smiles a little even though he’s not happy at all and what Shirou-san said is not funny either, “They say I’m worthless and only good at art. That’s not hurting me,” then he adds a little more bitterly, “And everyone got slapped at some point in a face.”

“Oi, Yukimura—“

“Hyouga—“

“I get it,” Hyouga grits out, ignoring the way Shirou-san says his name and it doesn’t sound like an insult itself like when it comes out of Hyouga’s mother’s mouth, “Senpai, I get it. But that’s how I grew up and I don’t see it changing anytime soon. It’s not,” he snorts, “It’s not a fairytale.”

There’s a beat of silence and Hyouga considers just calling it a night, telling them he’s tired, because he doesn’t want to deal with their sympathy, when it does literally nothing to help him. All Hyouga ever wanted was to be treated fairly, like an equal. To play serious soccer, to make his parents proud, to –

Hyouga shakes his head.

He wonders, when the desire to please his parents, became a desire to make Atsuya-senpai and Shirou-san proud instead.

“Tch. Whatever,” Atsuya-senpai mutters out, turning on his heel and walking into the direction of his room, “I’m going to sleep.”

“Atsuya—“

“ _Goodnight_ , Aniki,” Atsuya-senpai cuts him off and disappears behind his door.

Hurt must show on Hyouga’s face, because Shirou-san gives him a reassuring smile, “He’s just like that, Yukimura. He will get over it.”

Hyouga doesn’t let his disappointment show when Shirou-san uses his last name instead, and nods in understanding, before finally slowly ripping off the paper on the box, “I know, Shirou-san.”

He’s about to lift the lid when Shirou-san adds, “He must really care about you.”

Hyouga pauses, then dismisses it with a nod.

“Yukimura,” Shirou-san hesitates, “You believe us when we tell you we genuinely want to spend time with you, right?”

Hyouga never answers.

* * *

 

Hyouga wakes up at five thirty to the sounds of piano.

At first, he thinks he’s still dreaming – it takes him another few minutes to remember he’s not actually home and he has second split panic before he remembers that his parents are on a business trip and he’s safe and sound at Atsuya-senpai’s and Shirou-san’s place because yesterday his classmates threw him a little party.

He rubs at his eyes, sleepily and he looks around the guestroom Shirou-san showed him.  The walls are painted in warm yellows and there’s just bed and one wardrobe next to the window, but even though it has lots of space to occupy, it still looks more welcoming than the glaring white walls at Hyouga’s home.

He slips out from under the covers and wraps himself with a blanket  from on top of them,  padding barefoot  to the door and letting himself out. He hesitates in the corridor.

 _‘I’m in the next room if you need me,’_ Shirou-san said _, ‘Don’t hesitate to wake me.’_

 _If Shirou-san said so, then it should be fine,_ Hyouga thinks but stops just right outside the door to the man’s bedroom when he registers the sounds of piano again.

_Maybe I could apologize to Atsuya-senpai first?_

“Stupid,” he mumbles to himself, but turns around, hands gripping the blanket to wrap it tighter around himself, “Stupid, stupid. Why did you make him angry in the first place, idiot?”

The door to Atsuya-senpai’s room is left open. Hyouga takes a deep breath to steel his nerves and peeks. The man is sitting by the – from the looks of it – old piano, already dressed in his casual clothes which leads Hyouga to believe that the man is awake for more than just an hour. He wonders why. Then again, Hyouga is up this early as well.

 _I want to apologize_ , he realizes.

He likes Atsuya-senpai – even if he’s annoying and he treats Hyouga like a kid all the time, because on more than just one occasion, Hyouga notices that the man is actually a big softie. Sure, he’s also aggressive and rash at times, but Hyouga would be an idiot to say that Atsuya-senpai is stupid – because he isn’t, he’s actually pretty smart. Except in maths, because maths is complicated.

Once, he caught him cheering up Kou after she failed a quiz and her parents got mad; Itetsuki when asked what he thinks of new Coach said, “Oh, yeah, he’s annoying sometimes, but he helped me get even faster, so,”; and even the graduating managers told him that Atsuya-senpai really cares about the team.

Atsuya-senpai is a lot of things, and maybe Hyouga should just get used to it already and admit that he’s also part of the team which automatically makes the man care about his well-being.

He’s so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn’t register when the sounds of piano stop and there’s just silence.

“You know I can actually see you, right?”

Hyouga jumps back, “Senpai!”

“Shh! You will wake up Shirou,” Atsuya-senpai scolds him, “Seriously, we have to work on your stealth skills. You suck, Yukimura.”

“I do not!” he hisses in defense.

“Do too,” Atsuya-senpai grins then gestures for him to come in, “Don’t just stand there.”

For some reason, Hyouga remembers the times when he was younger. Back when his parents didn’t care whether Hyouga played soccer or not, when the pressure of drawing wasn’t so big. Hyouga remembers two things about those times – when he came to his mom to say he needed new clothes and she brushed him off, and when he came to his father’s office and was ushered out because the man was busy.

They were always busy. _Are,_ always busy.

“It’s… okay?”

Atsuya-senpai gives him a Look, “I just said so, didn’t I?”

It’s so easy to get confused around people like Atsuya-senpai, who are just confidently bargaining in other people’s life to change them.

Hyouga’s body moves on itself and he slips beside Atsuya-senpai  when the man makes him space on the small bench in front of the piano. It should feel a little awkward and uncomfortable, but Hyouga feels oddly at peace. He finally relaxes his grip on the blanket around him.

“So what are you doing up, Chibi?”

Hyouga shrugs, “I just woke up, that’s all.”

The man hums, not convinced, “How about you tell me the truth, though?”

Hyouga stiffens for a moment, before a resigned smile finds its way onto his face, “There’s no hiding from you, huh, Atsuya-senpai?”

Atsuya-senpai looks at him, “If you don’t tell me what’s wrong I will go and wake Aniki up,” he threatens.

“Senpai!” Hyouga hisses.

“Desperate times call for drastic measures, Yukimura,” Atsuya-senpai says unbothered.

“You always sic Shirou-san on me,” Hyouga complains, ducking his head into the blanket while Atsuya-senpai plays something that sounds a little like ‘happy birthday’ melody.

“Because he’s the only one you listen to, rascal.”

Hyouga rolls his eyes, “Not true,” he mumbles.

Atsuya-senpai shrugs, obviously not going to push Hyouga despite the threat and Hyouga sighs, “I wanted to apologize.”

There’s a pause, “Apologize?”

“I made you angry,” Hyouga explains, “I didn’t—“

Atsuya-senpai lifts a hand and cuts him off with a grimace, “I’m not angry at you,” he says firmly, “I’m angry at your shitty parents—“

“They’re not—“

“Yukimura,” Atsuya-senpai’s sharp voice interrupts him and Hyouga hunches his shoulders, “No parent should ever make their child feel like they’re only good for making money and no excuse you can think of to defend them will ever make me or Shirou like them.”

Hyouga ducks his head, “I’m not trying to defend them.”

Atsuya-senpai glances at him, anger shining in his eyes, before he sighs and ruffles Hyouga’s hair, making it even worse than it was, “I know, kiddo. You just don’t want to get in trouble for saying too much, right?”

“I don’t have anyone else,” Hyouga whispers.

Atsuya-senpai’s hands hover over the piano’s keys, “You have us.”

Hyouga’s breath hitches just like when Shirou-san asked Hyouga if he believes them when they say they care about him, and he nods, rubbing at his eyes, “I know.”

There’s a beat of silence before Atsuya-senpai speaks up again, “Aniki called you ‘Hyouga’,” he suddenly remembers, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Atsuya-senpai…”

“You totally liked it,” Atsuya-senpai teases, “Don’t tell me you didn’t.”

“It’s just,” Hyouga’s face burns red, “It’s such a—parent thing to do,” Atsuya-senpai’s grin softens a little, “Like, uh, only my mom and dad ever called me by my first name. It’s weird, hearing it from Shirou-san.”

Atsuya-senpai looks back to piano with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “I’m telling Aniki that.”

“Senpai! No!”

“I don’t think it’s  big deal,” the man continues, “I bet Aniki would love to do it anyways.”

“But—“

 “He already talks to everyone how proud of you he is,” Atsuya-senpai insists as Hyouga covers his burning face in the blanket, “You should have seen him. Yukimura did that, Yukimura did this – he’s already acting like your parent.”

Hyouga whines, “You’re lying.”

Atsuya-senpai smirks, “Oi, what’s that?” he lifts the blanket to look at Hyouga, “Don’t tell me, are you _embarrassed?”_

_“Shut up!”_

Atsuya-senpai cackles, almost falling off the bench.

 

* * *

 

Shirou-san eyes them suspiciously when they sit down to eat breakfast, “Atsuya, what did you do?”

Atsuya-senpai makes an offended noise in the back of his throat, “Aniki, why is it always _ME_ that you put the blame on?”

“I know you, simple as that.”

“Aniki!”

Hyouga snorts into his rice, “Savage,” he comments under his breath.

Atsuya-senpai looks at him, expression smug as if he was waiting for Hyouga to say something, “Why, Yukimura, didn’t you have something to say to Aniki?”

Hyouga freezes, then laughs awkwardly when Shirou-san blinks, “No, no. Really?”

“Yes,” Atsuya-senpai drawls out, “ _Really.”_

Hyouga waves his hand dismissively, “Don’t remember, sorry, Senpai.”

“Perhaps I should—“

Atsuya-senpai is cut off when Hyouga’s phone rings, “—remind you. Who’s that, Yukimura?”

Hyouga hesitates, but takes out the device and looks at the ID caller, “My…dad,” he answers, frowning, “Excuse me, I have to take this.”

“Yukimura—“

But Hyouga is already on his feet, moving outside the living room and into the corridor.

 

* * *

 

Shirou-san insisted on driving him home, so Hyouga reluctantly allowed it. Atsuya-senpai tagged along as well and when Hyouga entered the building, he could still the man’s calculating gaze on his back, probably regretting even letting Hyouga just stay there.

Hyouga knows why – or at least, he can figure it out, because neither Atsuya-senpai nor Shirou-san are easy to read, but they’re both pretty transparent when it comes to that stuff. And the fact that both of them lost their parents at young age suggests that Hyouga isn’t the only one who had to live in a cold four walls.

Maybe they can relate. Maybe they know what Hyouga feels.

But it’s not enough to help him feel any less bitter about the fact that Atsuya-senpai and Shirou-san lost their parents, while Hyouga had to feel this way even though his parents are alive. It doesn’t feel right.

“Nothing ever feels right,” Hyouga says to himself, walking up to his room and gently placing his bag on the bed, “That’s why they invented chocolate.”

He breaks the chocolate bar  Kou gave him into smaller pieces and munches on it while he takes out the gifts he has yet to open and starts with Miyuki-san’s sweater, pulling it over his head. It’s the traditional, ugly Christmas sweater with a reindeer on it and a cheesy ‘ _oh deer, Christmas is here_ ’ line on it. He feels ridiculous wearing it but it also feels like something Miyuki-san would say.

Koori-san got him a night light lamp shaped like a star – something about stars and lights always calmed Hyouga down – and it went perfectly with night sky projector Kou bought him. Ginjirou-san decided that buying him books was the best choice and Hyouga ended up with two volumes of poetry (does Ginjirou-san read poetry? They look like something he wouldn’t just pick randomly) and Itetsuki-san gave him a fluffy, woolen scarf that looked as if Hyouga could literally hide in it (he makes a mental note to thank him, because this winter is really freezing).

And then, there are two little, unopened boxes.

Hyouga takes a deep breath and takes the smaller one, a size of a notebook maybe and slowly rips off the paper, only to reveal a photo frame with—

“Oh,” slips out of his mouth, eyes wide.

On the picture, the Hakuren Soccer Club along with managers posing for Yamada-sensei who took the photo. With Atsuya-senpai on the left - the man throwing the victory sign with his right hand - and Shirou-san on the right with his crossed arms, it almost looks like a family gathering.

He supposes they are. A family, that is.

He wipes a stray tear that somehow slid down his cheek with a sleeve of his shirt and puts the frame away while taking the other box. He’s almost scared to open it, seeing how big it is, but in the end, his curiosity wins and Hyouga lifts the lid.

A dark blue jacket is laying on the bottom, in almost the same style as Atsuya-senpai’s and Shirou-san’s coats, with a hood and fake fur inside.

“Ah, man,” Hyouga rubs aggressively at his eyes, “I’m such a crybaby, damnit.”

His mother would have a fit, seeing Hyouga crying over a piece of clothing and a photo, but it’s literally something that has a sentimental value to him; something that makes him genuinely happy – that not only he got a jacket when it’s obvious this year’s winter is going to be nasty, but a picture of people Hyouga really feels happy to be with.

It’s almost too much to handle and Hyouga is sure that the warmth spreading all over his body isn’t only external anymore and he’s so, so happy, before he remembers his father’s call and his good mood gets damped.

When he thinks about it, his father wasn’t that happy with the news either, seeing as they are all estranged from their relatives.

He sighs, curling on his bed, the cold four walls helping him to remember that he’s still stuck here.

“ _’Your aunt is coming to visit you’_ , huh?” Hyouga repeats his father’s words hollowly, “Come to think of it, she was actually nice, I think.”

He falls quiet after that.

It feels stupid, talking to himself. He takes his phone from the nightstand, wanting to text everyone involved that he had fun tonight, but as he unlocks the screen, he realizes that he only has Kou’s number saved.

It’s a painful reminder that Hyouga doesn’t really have that many friends to begin with, that maintaining contact has always been hard for him and his parents never saw social interactions with his peers as needed, so he wasn’t allowed out that much either.

Like a person, locked away in a tower.

As he closes his eyes, he wonders, if the tower has a backdoor.


	2. post birthday (itetsuki-kun, don't be like atsuya-senpai, please)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes a family is the Mom Friend, the Dad Friend, a pair of troublemakers, a former piano player, two Coaches and a lady who desperately wants Hyouga to stop being an idiot and just let them care for him, damnit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> or: Hyouga's aunt makes appearance and develops a crush on a certain lady (but doesn't realize it just yet, because it's not the main focus of the story)

The ‘ _I’ll come pick you up after practice’_ message that Hyouga re-reads over and over again doesn’t want to change no matter how Hyouga looks at it and it fills him with something akin to dread. That’s not to say that Hyouga is ungrateful – the weather is nasty and even though Hyouga has a new jacket and a fluffy scarf now, the air seems to get him.

It’s just that – Hyouga hasn’t seen his aunt in years, probably.

Yukimura Kotone – always dressed in sweaters that make her look younger than she is, with hair almost as dark as Hyouga’s and eyes in a shade of dull grey – as a fellow artist was always the one who made Hyouga feel as if art wasn’t such a burden, like it was a place to be free. He doesn’t remember her too much – only the scent of paint lingering in her skin and gentle hands that liked to stroke through Hyouga’s hair managed to stick in his memory.

Because Hyouga didn’t always hate art.

Because at the beginning – art was something that was meant to help Hyouga express himself, it was a thing that was just his – before all the pressuring and all the punishment, art was actually Hyouga’s hobby.

 _It’s better than Mom coming to school, though_ , he thinks, hiding his phone in his pocket and packing up his uniform. He’s about to zip up his bag when Shirou-san walks into the room, “You’re all done?”

The rest of the team choruses a ‘yes, sir!’ while Hyouga tries to not stand out too much as he inches closer to the door. He’s halfway through the door when he catches Shirou-san’s eyes and he obediently stops when the man gives him a _Look_. Only when everyone leaves the door, Shirou-san speaks up, “Is something wrong, Yukimura?”

Oh.

_Oh._

Hyouga stares at him, tries to figure out what gave him away when he’s been doing so good at covering up the fact that his aunt is coming and that stresses his out. Then again, Shirou-san is observant – he probably only had to look at Hyouga once to know something’s up.

It’s scary, in a way, that he knows him so well.

But. This thing – Hyouga knows he shouldn’t concern Shirou-san with. Not now. Maybe not ever.

“Nothing,” he answers, adjusting the bag on his shoulder, “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

As Hyouga opens his mouth, Atsuya-senpai’s voice filters through, loud and clear, “Oi! Aniki, is Yukimura still here? Because there’s an old lady—“ he trails off when he walks into the room and looks at both of them, “—that’s apparently picking him up?” he finishes, confused.

_So much for meeting with her unnoticed._

Hyouga shifts on his feet, “Yeah.”

There’s an awkward silence, as if they both expected him to elaborate on that, but Hyouga knows better than to overshare and he just shrugs, “Well. I’m going then.”

“Hold on, Yukimura,” Shirou-san stops him, a frown on his face, “Who is picking you up?”

Hyouga looks away, “A relative,” then he hoists his bag higher onto his shoulder and moves to walk out of the room, “Excuse me.”

“Hey, you don’t get to walk away just like that, rascal,” Atsuya-senpai’s annoyed voice cuts through and Hyouga resists the urge to sigh, tired from the last night’s lack of sleep, “I’m not letting some old lady—“

“Who’re you calling an old lady, Fubuki-san?”

Hyouga whips his head to the entrance, hand tightening on the bag, before he breathes out, “Kotone-san,” he nods his head.

Yukimura Kotone raises an eyebrow, hand on her hip and she tuts at him, “Drop the –san, Hyouga. We’re a family.”

Expect she knows they’re not really and Hyouga knows, too, because his family was never close, they never interacted with each other. There’s no intimacy between them beside that time when Hyouga was younger and when his parents were normal and when Hyouga actually liked art.

“Sorry, Kotone-obasan,” he corrects, but it’s dry, lacking any form of emotion. It makes something shift on Kotone’s face.

She stays quiet for a moment, before she looks over at Shirou-san, “I’m Hyouga’s aunt,” she clarifies, “I take it you’re his coach?”

“ _We_ are,” Atsuya-senpai pipes in from her side.

Kotone nods in acknowledgment, “I must say I’m surprised, I thought Hyouga would join the art club.”

Hyouga grits his teeth, “Well, I didn’t.”

Something must have showed in his voice, maybe the anger he can still feel inside himself at his parents isn’t as dull as he thought it is. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that Kotone just walked into his life after god knows how long and looked as if she owned the place. It’s given, he thinks. His family is full of people who think they’re better than others.

“I didn’t mean that as a bad thing,” Kotone tries to defend. And for a moment, he believes her, before he remembers that no. He can’t just trust her.

Hyouga knows the way she looked at both Atsuya-senpai and Shirou-san. The mild mockery hidden in her smile is proof enough – and Hyouga likes her, but he won’t stand for it. Maybe in a way, he’s also a little protective.

“Obviously,” he says sarcastically and he doesn’t get why he’s so bitter, so impolite, but it happens anyways and he kind of hates himself for that, “Are we going or not?”

“I just wanted to get to know the people Hiroshi is so against for,” Kotone finally says.

Yukimura Hiroshi, as in Hyouga’s father – a designer and artist.

“What for? So you can insult them?”

Shirou-san lightly scolds him, “Yukimura, don’t raise your voice.”

But Kotone is not fazed and Hyouga knows it’s because she’s just like his mother – eerily calm and patient, but without Hyouga’s mother’s instability.

“No,” she answers, eyes searching for something on his face, “So I can thank them.”

Hyouga stills, distrusting, “Thank them?”

Atsuya-senpai looks as confused as Hyouga feels, but before he can question her, Kotone bows down, “Excuse us. We must get going, now,” she looks up, a kind of sly smile on her face when she looks them both up and down, “It was a pleasure to meet you.”

“Yeah, same,” Atsuya-senpai says dumbly, while Shirou-san awkwardly sends them off with a smile.

Hyouga wisely doesn’t say anything to it.

 

* * *

 

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

Hyouga grits his teeth, “Why’d you come here?” At Kotone’s look, he looks away, “You never visit, we don’t call you.”

“Hiroshi was telling me about you,” she said honestly, “About art.”

Hyouga stays silent for a moment, before he raises an eyebrow, “Then how do you know about Atsuya-senp— Coach Atsuya and Coach Shirou?”

Kotone smirks, “Atsuya-senpai, huh?”

“Kotone-san.”

“Just Kotone or obasan. We’re not strangers, Hyouga.”

“Kotone- _san,”_ he insists and she rolls her eyes at him, “Why are you here?”

She doesn’t answer, not yet. It’s clear as day that she’s weighting her words, looking for ways to express herself the best so Hyouga won’t misunderstand. And Hyouga doesn’t interrupt her, doesn’t let it show that he’s anxious and unsure of everything in his life now, from where he stands in his parents eyes to who he is to Atsuya-senpai and Shirou-san.

Kotone is not an enemy, he knows this.

But it’s also difficult to see someone like her, someone who can be calculating but warm inside, as an ally. Not when Hyouga’s grew up being  used to not trusting adults, to watching his every step around them.

It’s not like she reached out to him before. It’s not like she cared. Hyouga has to remember that.

“I didn’t know about them,” she finally admits.

They’re sitting in the car outside of Hyouga’s house and Hyouga feels rooted to his seat, because what does that even _mean?_

“But you said that Dad—“

“Hiroshi never said it, it’s just,” she sighs, head leaning backwards on her seat, “they look like his total opposite. And Hiroshi never did like people who are like this.”

“Like what?”

“Kind.”

Hyouga gulps, “Then?”

“He said that I’m free to visit as long as I resume your art lessons,” she continues, eyes clouded with something dark, making Kotone look older and more serious than she actually is, “That they’ll be back on Monday as they promised, but that you have to practice. That was the condition.”

“And you agreed.”

“Because this is the first time I was able to,” she admits and she tightens her fingers on the steering wheel, “I didn’t just cut ties with you, Hyouga. I cut ties with everyone, just like your parents.”

Hyouga ducks his head into his scarf and hides his shaking hands into his pockets, “Why?”

“I met someone,” she said with a strained voice, “Someone bad. They made me feel real shitty about myself, you know? But I loved them.”

There’s a beat of silence while Hyouga processes it and tries to understand, “Like Rapunzel?”

It’s a childish question, one that shouldn’t have a place in a conversation like this. But Hyouga can’t just ask her if she’s like Kou where her parents take away her stuff if she doesn’t obey them, because she doesn’t know who Kou is.

Kotone stays silent, “Rapunzel?” she tests out the word.

Hyouga nods, “From Disney.”

She’s thinking, maybe considering, but then, she looks him straight in the eye and asks, “Who’s she?”

And definitely shouldn’t have this conversation in the car on the driveway, and they should just come in, but Hyouga understands, because in that house – the walls are cold and unfeeling and they make your mind go blank and sad and you don’t want to talk in it. Sitting in front of it gives you power – because the cold can’t get you that way – you’re the boss.

So Hyouga takes a deep breath, steels his nerves and says, “She’s just a girl.”

And he wants to say million things to describe her – her kindness, her smile, how she feels wrong when she’s happy, how she escaped from the tower, how she found her family. But all that doesn’t sum her up and wouldn’t let Kotone know why Hyouga asks if she’s like her.

So he continues in a cool voice, “And she was emotionally abused by her step-mother.”

That’s—

That’s an overwhelming statement, because in a way it gives you power – it lets you acknowledge that Gothel’s behavior was bad, neglectful and toxic. That it wasn’t fair to a kid like Rapunzel, who just wanted to be free.

“Do you know Tina Turner?” Hyouga’s face twists into a grimace at the name, “You probably don’t, she was a foreign singer.”

“And—“

“And Tina’s husband was abusive, too,” she says and it feels like a blow, because Hyouga would never think, would never allow himself to think that Kotone – this Kotone, strong, independent and most of all, kind – would have to go through that, “And I was like her, just weeks ago.”

“Kotone-san…”

“And I came, because it got me thinking, kiddo,” she sends him a teary smile, “That I let something like this happen to myself because I never knew that abuse doesn’t have to be physical, and,” she wipes stray tears from her face with a tissue she brings out of her pocket, “maybe that’s because it was normal to me. I saw it happen once, too, you know? And I did nothing.”

Hyouga’s almost afraid to ask, not sure if he really wants to know, but he does anyways, because it’s important to Kotone just as it is to Hyouga, “Why?”

“Because the fact that someone close to you could hurt you so much didn’t seem logical at all,” she answers and it hurts something deep in Hyouga and he swallows, rapidly blinking to will away his own tears, “I would never think that Hiroshi would do such terrible thing.”

Hyouga’s world halts, “No, Kotone-san, I’m—“

“I told you, didn’t I?” Kotone cuts in, “That it doesn’t have to be physical. Abuse appears in many forms.”

Hyouga turns away, eyes wide, “I’m not—“

“I’m sorry, Hyouga, to spring this so suddenly on you, but when I realized—“ she takes a deep breath, “When I realized, I couldn’t just let it happen any longer.”

Hyouga tries to calm down his breathing, “You’re wrong, they’re not—“

“The pressure of doing art,” she starts, “the constant putting down of your hobbies, telling you that without doing x, you won’t get a good job, you’ll be worthless. Treating you like an object. Isolating you from your peers. Making you scared, Hyouga, I’ve experienced that. I saw that when I was with you and you were just a little kid, Hyouga and I didn’t _see_ that.”

Hyouga is silent, something stuck in his throat and Kotone waits, patiently, until he processes that information, only speaking when it’s clear he’s listening to her again, “It’s okay, Hyouga,” he whips his head to stare at her, “I understand.”

And the horrifying truth is that she truly does, but Hyouga would never be as brave as her, would never admit to that. He can’t—

“And it’s okay,” she continues, “To say it out loud.”

Hyouga shakes his head, panicked, “No.”

Kotone has that look on her face, the one saying that she gets that, too. And it make Hyouga feel even shittier.

“Okay,” she lets out a breath, “Okay.”

She lets go of the steering wheel.

Hyouga thinks she will start talking again, but soon realizes that she doesn’t need to, there’s no point. She already said enough, it’s the minimum of the knowledge he needs and it shows, because Hyouga doesn’t really want more.

_‘I know what’s best for you, Hyouga’._

_‘You’ll never know what you do wrong if I don’t point it out’._

_‘You don’t need friends’._

Money, money. The ‘quit violin,’ and ‘stop knitting’ and yells of ‘what did I say about singing? Cut it out!’ all seemingly screaming inside of Hyouga’s head, stealing his breath and banging on his mind, demanding to be noticed now that he has facts and name for it.

Emotional abuse.

He would never say that.

He can’t.

And yet, when he opens his mouth to deny it, all that comes out is a heart-wrenching sob and Hyouga knows he’s not crying for Kotone or Rapunzel or Kou or even the heartwarming _Coco_ movie. It feels like all of it is crashing down on Hyouga, wrapping around his chest and squeezing like a snake. Like it’s the missing piece he needed to be able to let it all out.

 _It’s sad_ , he thinks, but it’s the first time Yukimura Hyouga is crying for himself.

Kotone never says anything during that. They sit in the car, radio off, and snowflakes falling down on the glass, not speaking while Hyouga cries his heart out, hugging himself, trying to shield himself from the cold spreading on his body despite having a brand new jacket and scarf.

It feels like something is lifted from his shoulders.

At the same time, Hyouga remembers the wall, how it felt like he’s free, but not free at all. Maybe he’s been stuck under the rumble. Maybe he was still trying to get over the wall, maybe he was crawling out from under it the whole time.

Maybe, he’s just starting to see the light.

 

* * *

 

Hyouga doesn’t want to be home. He knows he should – there’s plenty stuff to do, things to clean up, homework to finish and dinner to eat. Yet, Hyouga can’t take another step in the direction of the door. He can’t even bare to look at it.

Kotone drove away to check out the apartment she wants to rent out – she said she’s going to be moving in here, to have an eye on things. Hyouga doesn’t know how that makes him feel, maybe in that regard he’s just a little too numb.

He finds himself at Miyuki-san’s doorstep seconds later.

“Something happened,” she states once they sit down in her living room, Hyouga with a cup of warm tea and Miyuki-san with a plate of hazelnut cookies, “I saw  that someone else took you home,” she continues, seeing Hyouga unresponsive.

It’s a conversation starter – one Hyouga knows is meant to help him, but makes him even more conflicted. Would Miyuki-san understand? No. That’s not the problem. What if she does understand but would hate him for that?

Hyouga is used to being a burden.

He doesn’t want to lose another person because of that.

“My aunt.”

Miyuki-san pauses with a cookie halfway into her mouth, “Aunt?” she swallows a mouthful, “I wasn’t aware you had contact with her.”

“I didn’t.”

Miyuki-san sighs and waits for a couple of minutes, but Hyouga can’t talk about it, not really. It’s not that something is blocking him, it’s not that he doesn’t trust Miyuki-san – he thinks it’s because he’s still secretly afraid that she will leave anyways and involving her in his mess would only complicate it all.

He takes a sip of his tea, thoughtful, “I don’t know what to do,” he admits quietly.

“About what?”

He frowns.

“Everything,” he says and it doesn’t explain anything, but also doesn’t leave Miyuki-san with nothing and she must get it to, because she nods, “I don’t even know if I can do anything.”

Somehow, Miyuki-san knows she won’t be getting any more information about that, so she hums to herself and takes another cookie, “I don’t think you’re that kind of person, Yukimura-kun. I don’t think you will just give up.”

“I don’t want to fight anymore,” he whispers.

Miyuki-san stills, “What do you mean?”

Ah.

Maybe he should just stop fighting? What would happen then? If he’d given up back then, would he be in a different place right now? What if he didn’t give in when his mother took away his violin? Would he never pick up soccer seriously?

What if, what if. It’s almost like a toxic mantra, because after all, who cares about what ifs nowadays?

“What if I just quit soccer?” he asks, but in a voice so devoid of any emotion that Miyuki-san looks scared, as if she was looking at a completely different person, “Do you think my parents would love me then?”

“You said… that they love you,” she reminds, unsure.

When Hyouga lifts his head, his smile is wrong. There’s no happiness, no joy, no anything. Hyouga never really expressed his emotions well, caught up in fake politeness and strained laughs around his parents, but this time it looks like Hyouga has given up.

“Do they?”

Miyuki-san doesn’t answer. Hyouga looks down.

“I thought they did,” he says, “They told me so and I believed them, because at times, it really looked like it.”

“So what changed, Yukimura-kun?”

“I don’t know,” he admits, “Maybe I realized in only now. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think love is supposed to hurt like that.”

“Yukimura-kun…” she starts, then trails off, before picking up again, this time with more confidence, “You’re right, it isn’t.”

Hyouga nods, “So they don’t love me.”

Miyuki-san thinks for a moment, “I think they do. It’s just that, it isn’t a healthy kind of love,” she hesitates, “Love is supposed to help you grow, it shouldn’t be something that’s given only as a reward.”

“Then—?”

“I think, Yukimura-kun,” Miyuki-san looked at him with a small smile, “That in time you’ll see that there are people who will love you for you, because you’re a kind, young boy, and people who will love you because social obligations tell them to do so.”

The conversation could end there, but Hyouga still has to ask, “How will I know that?”

Miyuki-san grins, knowingly, “You will, don’t worry.”

The unspoken ‘they will make sure of it’ makes Hyouga pause in his drinking and throw a look at her, but Miyuki only munches on another cookie.

 

* * *

 

Hyouga is walking out through the school gate when someone grabs him from behind, hoists him up and sits him on their shoulders with a loud laugh when Hyouga yelps in surprise and grabs onto the person’s hair for leverage.

The first thought is ‘ _that hair is so fluffy’_ and the second is—

“Atsuya-senpai!” Hyouga whisper-shouts at him in panic, watching as other walking teachers throw them amused looks, “Put me down!”

“How about I don’t?”

Hyouga’s cheeks heat in embarrassment, “Please. Other people are looking.”

“Let them,” is Atsuya-senpai’s careless answer.

“It’s no use fighting him,” Shirou-san suddenly pipes in from beside them and Hyouga gives him a desperate look, “He wanted to do that for a long time.”

“But why?” Hyouga whines.

“Apparently, once you said you’ve never been carried around, Atsuya decided to fix it,” Shirou-san says, off-handedly, but it’s clear he’s enjoying it, “Isn’t that right?”

“You’re way too light, Yukimura,” Atsuya-senpai comments, “I barely feel your weight as it is.”

“If you insist on carrying me,” Hyouga’s face is red by now, “Why don’t you give me a piggyback instead?”

“That’s boring,” he says, but when Hyouga tugs at his hair, he hisses in pain and rolls his eyes, “Alright, you rascal. Piggyback it is.”

Atsuya-senpai lets him slip down, then climb onto his back. In the process, Hyouga realizes that somewhere along the way, Shirou-san snatched his bag and is now slinging it onto his shoulder, smiling smugly to himself.

Hyouga feels defeated and he slumps against Atsuya-senpai’s back, “Why are you doing this, Coach?”

There’s a beat of silence that makes Hyouga wonder if he said something wrong again, but soon enough, Shirou-san speaks up in a quiet voice, “Your friends are worried about you, Yukimura.”

“My friends?”

“The other chibis,” Atsuya-senpai helpfully provides.

“Itetsuki-kun and Risuna-kun were so far the most concerned,” Shirou-san explains as they walk, the slow but steady pace lulling Hyouga to sleep and he fights to keep himself awake, “Is it about tomorrow?”

“It doesn’t change anything,” Hyouga says sleepily.

Except it does, because Hyouga can’t look them in the eye in this state. He can’t just tell them he knows what they’re doing, because he knows they will just tell him he’s imagining it, they only want the best for him and—

And Hyouga doesn’t know he can handle that, but with every passing hour, Hyouga feels worse and worse, trying to figure out what to do, how to deal with that.

“You really don’t want to come back there, huh?” Atsuya-senpai murmurs.

“Miyuki told us about how you came to her,” Shirou-san admits and Hyouga presses his head deeper into the hood of Atsuya-senpai’s jacket, “When you said you don’t want to fight anymore, you meant that you can’t handle the pressure of your parents coming back, isn’t that right?”

Hyouga doesn’t answer.

“You don’t have to keep doing this alone, damn it,” Atsuya-senpai huffs, “You do this all the time. How can we help you if we don’t know what you need?”

The typical response, the ‘you can’t help me’ gets stuck in his throat and he realizes that it’s not the case anymore. His Aunt coming back to Hokkaido is a proof enough that there are ways out of situations like that, that it’s a hell of a fight but freedom does come in the end to those who work hard enough for it.

And Hyouga’s just a kid.

He’s just a fifteen year old boy, playing soccer to forget about what happens at home.

They stop at the street lights when Hyouga speaks up, “I don’t know what I need,” he admits.

Atsuya-senpai lets out a disgruntled noise, but Shirou-san quickly picks up at Hyouga’s change in demeanor, “But you know someone who does.”

Hyouga tightens his arms around Atsuya-senpai’s neck and nods, “Yeah.”

Shirou-san looks at Atsuya-senpai and they exchange looks. Then, Atsuya-senpai tilts his head at him, “Well, what are you waiting for? Take us to them.”

* * *

 

Despite Kotone being pretty transparent with her intentions, halfway to her place, Hyouga realizes that it’s not that easy, that there’s something else bugging him about her sudden appearance there. Kotone would not come back if she didn’t have something up her sleeve. It’s not a matter of the fact that she couldn’t – but a matter of her genes.

She’s a Yukimura, first and foremost and while Hyouga doesn’t think of his family to be overly smart, they are all clever enough.

“Shirou-san?” he speaks up after a moment when they stop at the next zebra crossing, “Could we turn back?”

Atsuya-senpai shifts his grip on him, but keeps quiet. Hyouga doesn’t have the time to wonder why, when Shirou-san gives him a questioning look, “Why?”

“I—“ Hyouga hesitates, “I don’t think this is the right path.”

“As in?”

“As in, I should do something else,” Hyouga tightens his hands in the material of Atsuya-senpai’s jacket, “This is—I think I’m going the wrong way?” he takes a shaky breath,  “Too fast and I—“

“The whole thing tomorrow is messing with your head, isn’t it, Chibi?” Atsuya-senpai hoists him higher  on his back and sighs, “Good grief, I felt like you agreeing so suddenly was fishy, but I thought that maybe this time…”

Shirou-san is looking at him now, gaze not cold, but not so warm either, like he’s calculating something. Hyouga doesn’t like it and he looks away, “I’m sorry for the trouble.”

“You said you’re not sure about the way,” Shirou-san repeats, “Why?”

“I told you,” Atsuya-senpai looks over his shoulder, “The tomorrow is getting to him. He was probably eager to get rid of the problem without thinking first.”

“You’re not the type of person to not think before deciding something, though, Yukimura,” Shirou-san observes, “You either overthink it or don’t make a choice at all.”

Hyouga keeps quiet. Atsuya-senpai looks at Shirou-san, narrowing his eyes, “What are you getting at, Aniki?”

Shirou-san’s eyes don’t change, but Hyouga feels the shift in the air when Shirou-san’s hand lands on Hyouga’s hair and he ruffles it, gentler than Atsuya-senpai, “Nothing at all. Shall we get ice-cream instead?”

Atsuya-senpai lightens up at the mention of the iced goods, but Hyouga keeps looking at the man.

Despite that, he can’t see anything.

He wonders why.

 

* * *

 

Hyouga’s parents don’t look at him.

That’s nothing new, it used to happen all the time when they came back from their business trips. So Hyouga isn’t fazed by that. In fact, he’s more curious about the change in the way they hold themselves.

His mother used to be confident around Hyouga. She knew what she wanted from him, knew what to expect from him. Hyouga could scream and beg for her to be more empathetic and kind, but that usually fell on deaf ears.

His father can’t bring himself to even glance at him, but this time it feels like isn’t what he wants, like his father wants to see him, but for some reason, he can’t.

They don’t speak until late dinner.

“The house is clean,” his mother comments.

Hyouga nods in acknowledgment while his father points out, “You’ve listened to us.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Hyouga asks.

His father pauses with a fork almost in his mouth and his mother’s hand twitches but stays at her side. Hyouga thinks they expected him to rebel, maybe they even forgot that Hyouga never had any problems doing the chores or minding the house when they were gone.

It’s weird, because it feels like Hyouga has the upper hand, when it reality, Hyouga’s never had that kind of control.

“How is Kotone?”

“She’s moving in,” Hyouga answers shortly, the adds, “How was the trip?”

“The trip?” his father asks confused.

Hyouga waits a moment with a glass of water against his lips.

“Ah. The trip,” Hyouga’s mother freaking _laughs,_ “Right. It was good. We actually managed to complete what was given to us earlier.”

Hyouga stills.

“That’s good,” he swallows the water, “Um. Are you—“ he cuts himself off.

His mother looks up, eyes shining, “Yes, honey?”

Hyouga feels cold.

“I’m—,” he says in a strained voice, “I have to finish my homework.”

His father nods at him, “Of course. Go ahead, Hyouga.”

Hyouga’s never been faster to get out of the room.

 

* * *

 

 _I’m scared,_ is what first comes to Hyouga’s mind, _I’m scared and I shouldn’t be._

Because those people weren’t his parents – they weren’t the parents Hyouga knew and despite the welcoming appearance, Hyouga knew it was either temporary or something really serious happened, because his mother isn’t supposed to laugh and his father isn’t supposed to look so non-threatening.

And he doesn’t _get it._

When he comes to school, Kou notices right away that Hyouga’s shaken up about something; maybe she’s able to tell because she knew something would happen; maybe Hyouga is just that transparent. One thing he knows for sure is that he can’t, for the love of God, stop shaking.

At practice, he can’t even open a bottle of water and suffers through embarrassing moment of asking Itetsuki-san for help. The boy gives him a penetrating look that makes Hyouga even worse, because he’s making people worry and he shouldn’t, because, because—

Isn’t that a good thing?

If his parents are back— If by some chance, they’re normal, back to the state from two years ago, isn’t that good for him?

It should, but it doesn’t feel like it – it feels like a good plot twist in a mystery book, like a turning point, like they know something Hyouga doesn’t and they act so confused about it, so lost – it’s terrifying to watch, how they interact with him like they never hurt him before.

Like nothing bad ever happened.

Kotone comes to pick him up again and he can’t move, can’t actually make himself speak, it’s like he’s stuck in third person, watching everything happen and that petrifies him way more than anything that happened before.

“Hyouga? Can you hear me?”

Hyouga feels rather than knows that he nods at that, and he thinks he’s still in the gym, because it’s bright and he doesn’t, no. He can’t deal with it being so bright.

“I’m going to touch you now, okay? Let me know if it’s too much,” and she grabs his arm, lifts him up and moves through corridor with him to the exit.

He can’t speak but he wishes he could tell her he doesn’t want to be alone. That whatever is happening is scary and like someone else is there, like he’s not really breathing and he wants to, he do desperately wants to breathe on his own.

He’s sitting. On the cold surface. Maybe grass. Outside is white and familiar and the cold seems to calm him down, but it’s still not enough and he wishes Atsuya-senpai was there or Shirou-san, because he doesn’t want to be alone. Not anymore.

Is that because his mother is different?

It feels like forever, but he comes back to himself, feels snow on his palms and he looks up to look at Kotone.

“Back with me, kiddo?”

Hyouga really looks at her this time.

Kotone has pale skin, sickly pale skin and deep bangs under her eyes. Her dark blue hair is messy and damaged and Hyouga doesn’t think she actually takes care of it, at all. When he looks her in the eyes, they’re dull and seem lifeless, despite the fact that Kotone feels like she’s never been more alive. He wonders if it’s because of her  ex-husband. Did he make her look like that?

 _Stress does weird things to us_ , he thinks.

How would Kotone look if she took care of herself?

No.

Hyouga knows a little about what she went through, and the right question would be: how would Kotone look if she thought she deserves being taken care of?

“How did you get out?” he asks quietly.

He doesn’t even bother hiding his flinch when Kotone silently wraps him in his scarf, “I fought my way through,” she answers simply.

It tells him nothing and everything at the same time.

What did she sacrifice to get where she is?

Her self-esteem, her worth, her name?

He takes her hand and squeezes. She looks surprised by his action, but doesn’t try to get away, “How do I get out?”

Kotone whips her head to stare at him, only to see him watching her. He can’t say he’s 100% sure of his choice – to be completely honest, he may never be sure. He just doesn’t want to keep guessing his entire life and wonder if his parents are going to snap again or not.

Maybe. Just maybe if he could get out, he’d get to play soccer freely.

“Hyouga, is this what you want?”

There’s a watery smile on Hyouga’s face, “I don’t want to fight anymore, Kotone-obasan.”

It’s possible that the honorific is what convinces her. Hyouga was never big on them, never saw them as something necessary, after all, what’s an age difference to do with respecting others? Someone could be fifty and if they were an asshole, Hyouga still wouldn’t call them a –san.

Kotone grips his hand.

“I will get you out of there, Hyouga,” she promises, steel in her eyes, “Just give me some time.”

Hyouga never knew who Yukimura Kotone actually is.

In that moment, however, it was clear as day, that she was just as human as any other person.

 

* * *

 

No one acts like they know something is up, but Kou starts to bring a second bento to lunch and shares some with him. There’s always something funny added in it, something that never fails to make Hyouga smile weakly.

Itetsuki-san talks with him more about the small things happening – like who’s raising in the soccer world, who’s failing, who’s the underdog of the local speed-skating competitions. In a way, it makes Hyouga focus elsewhere.

Kitaki-san and Koori-san make sure to tease him even more, but they also take him out for ice-cream, gift him soccer magazines they don’t need anymore and joke a lot with him. Ginjirou-san tries to tell them to cut it out, but they never listen and Hyouga is grateful, because it manages to bring the normalcy Hyouga so desperately needs right now.

No one is careful around him.

They don’t know anything, about Hyouga’s parents, about Kotone. It’s good, because Hyouga wouldn’t  know how to deal with that – he never really told anyone beside Atsuya-senpai and Shirou-san.

He feels like he could, but it’s difficult for Hyouga to even admit those things to himself.

And then, it happens.

“We’re having a match?” Kou asks, looking at her clipboard, “In a week. With who, again?”

“Raimon,” Shirou-san answers, “They’d like a re-match.”

“And you, rascals, better make sure you win this one,” Atsuya-senpai lifts a finger, “I did not train you all so you could lose.”

“Isn’t that what happened at Holy Road, though?” Itetsuki-san asks under his breath. Kitaki-san snorts.

Atsuya-senpai narrows his eyes, “Aniki was your primary coach that time,” he says and Shirou-san smiles fondly at him, “That’s why. This time, I’m in charge.”

“I don’t think that will change anything,” Koori-san mutters out.

Hyouga looks at all of them and hums, “Right. Wasn’t Coach Atsuya in the national team, though?” he asks and they all look at him, kind of stumped, “That was probably luck, huh?” he says, picking up a ball, “I mean, there’s no way _Fubuki Atsuya_ , the _professional_ soccer player, actually knows how to think of strategies, right?”

Itetsuki-san deadpans at him, “Anyone ever told you that you’re a little shit, Yukimura?”

Hyouga shrugs, “I’m just saying,” he juggles the ball on his knee and pretends he doesn’t see the way Atsuya-senpai blinks at him, “Just because someone plays aggressively, doesn’t mean they don’t actually think it through,” then, after a moment, he adds grimly, “Though, I admit, that’s usually the case.”

Kou smiles, “That’s right! You all should have more faith in your Coach!”

Ginjirou-san looks at her, “Coach Shirou was on a national team as well, and we still didn’t win.”

“That’s because Coach Shirou is too soft on us,” Itetsuki-san throws in and Shirou-san almost chokes on his water while Atsuya-senpai snickers beside him, “And I admit that not all of us were in the best shape. Beside Yukimura.”

Hyouga clears his throat, “Heh.”

Kou claps her hands and grins, “Alright, it’s no use if you all get sick, so stretch out and change your clothing,”  when everyone gives her a look, she narrows her eyes, “Oi, oi, are you going to just stand here, guys?”

Kitaki-san shoos them away, “Come on, we don’t want to make her angry,” then, he adds, “You all know what happens when girls get angry.”

Kou glares at him. Kitaki-san quickly makes his escape to the dressing room. When Hyouga attempts to do the same, she nearly flings herself at him and in a second she has him in a headlock, “Wait a minute, Yukimura-kun.”

Hyouga tiredly looks at her, “Ouch,” he deadpans.

She rolls her eyes, “So. What’s up?”

“The sky.”

“Quit trying to deceive me, Yukimura-kun,” Kou hisses out, “I put up with your glum face for long enough. Come one, spill.”

Hyouga smiles faintly, “Kou,” she stills at that, “It’s okay now.”

She lets him go abruptly, her red eyes a little too wide and keeps quiet. Perhaps she knows already that something  was up – he remembers now, that Kou’s parents aren’t the best either, that Hyouga’s not a special case.

But Kou doesn’t need a way out, not with her uncle around. Hyouga realizes that in that aspect, they are quite similar.

“I think,” he says quietly, “I know what to do.”

She stares at him for longer than is socially acceptable and then lets out a breath, “Don’t scare me like that,” then she gives him a nudge to the ribs and groans, “You always do that! I swear, one day you’ll be the death of me.”

“I sure hope not,” Shirou-san comments and Hyouga startles, forgetting the men were still standing behind them, “But I hope everything will work out for you, Yukimura.”

Atsuya-senpai doesn’t say a word, Hyouga figures he doesn’t have to – not with the way the man glances at Hyouga’s apparent bangs under his eyes. He gives them thumbs up, then looks towards the dressing room, “Am I free to go or do you want to hit me some more?”

Kou slaps the back of his head in answer.

* * *

 

Match with Raimon takes place at the old Snowland Stadium, because apparently no one wanted the place to waste its potential and Raimon’s Coach is apparently friends with the former Holy Emperor, so they just all decided to play there.

There’s not a lot of people there, either, but it’s enough to make his ears ring. The familiar thrill and even more at the thought of playing his full, without restrictions, with his friends. It’s actually pretty amazing, when Hyouga thinks of it, that they were granted such possibility.

“Awesome, right?” Itetsuki-san comments, chewing on a bubblegum, “I only remember how they beat our ass, though.”

Kitaki-san stretching his legs, grimaces, “Hey, could you like, not remind us of that?”

“They may have won one battle, but we could still win the war,” Ginjirou-san recites.

Hyouga and the rest of the team deadpans at him, “No,” Kou shakes her head, “Please, just… don’t.”

Ginjirou-san’s face is partially covered with a scarf, but Hyouga knows if he could see, the boy would be pouting. He wonders if he wears a scarf only to uphold his reputation of being a stoic, responsible teenager, who’s maybe a little edgy and reads poetry as a hobby.

He dismisses the thought when Shirou-san clears his throat.

“Alright,” they hold their breaths, expecting a somewhat motivating speech, but all they get is, “Have fun.”

Itetsuki-san pops his bubblegum balloon and blinks, “Told you all that Coach Shirou is too soft on us.”

Kou opens her mouth to say something, when Atsuya-senpai steps in beside Shirou-san and looks Itetsuki-san right in the eye, hands on his shoulders, “Itetsuki-kun,” Atsuya-senpai drawls out, “Remember what I told you before the match, right?”

Itetsuki-san gives him a wolfish grin, “Wreck them all, don’t let Yukimura do all the work and give them hell.”

Atsuya-senpai grins proudly, clapping him on his back, while Shirou-san looks mildly scandalized, “What are you teaching them?!”

“Only Itetsuki-kun.”

“Why him?” Shirou-san sounds exasperated.

Kitaki-san glances around them, “Well, no one else is brave enough to listen to Coach Atsuya’s advices, for one.”

“They’re not that hard,” Atsuya-senpai argues.

Koori-san glares at him, “You told us, literally, to go and _kill a bear.”_

Shirou-san crosses his arms while Atsuya-senpai shrugs, “I mean? I did that?”

Koori-san face-palms, but Hyouga only snorts because it sounds just like Atsuya-senpai and Hyouga knows the man would never let them go alone for something like this and would tag along under the pretext of ‘I want to laugh at your faces’ and in reality, he’d be there as a back-up in case something went wrong.

In simple terms, while Fubuki Shirou is a little shit, Fubuki Atsuya is overprotective as heck.

“But Aniki is right,” Atsuya-senpai gives them a grin, “You’re all bunch of rascals, saving soccer and all, so just have fun this time,” then he coughs in his hand, “ _Crush them_.”

Shirou-san remains blissful unaware of the last bit as they head onto the field.

* * *

 

Hyouga sees it by accident – the familiar emotionless eyes in the audience and messy dark hair right beside them. They’re right by the stands, the match is basically nearing its end with Hakuren in the lead and even though there’s not a LOT of people in the stadium, there’s enough of them to make it loud.

But Hyouga in that moment can only hear and see those two people.

Itetsuki-san is the first one to notice Hyouga stopping and he opens his mouth to say something, probably to scold Hyouga for not doing anything, right in the middle of a match, but he stops seeing the look on Hyouga’s face.

And Hyouga is rooted to his spot, eyes wide.

Because never, in million years, he’d imagine seeing her there. Right up there, because she never came before. Because to her soccer is useless, stupid, disgusting. Hyouga is supposed to do art, to do well in school, to not have friends and focus on getting a well-paying job and not play around with sport like this.

It doesn’t change anything.

It shouldn’t. Maybe Hyouga should feel happy, because _she_ is here. But he can’t. Even though. Even though—

It’s the first time Hyouga’s mother came to watch him play.

Kotone stands right beside her and Hyouga sees her cupping her hands around her mouth and—

“Come on, Hyouga! You can do it!”

She’s loud enough to make few heads turn to her and Hyouga sees his mother giving Kotone a weird, thoughtful look, before Hyouga snaps out of it and runs ahead.

“Took you long enough, Yukimura,” Kitaki-san tells him, passing him the ball.

Hyouga nods, voice lost somewhere.

He still glances at the stand. He still sees his mother – he’s not dreaming it up, again, she’s there and she’s watching and she’s not yelling at him to stop, she’s just undoubtedly there.

Is she there for him?

No.

Hyouga knows better. People like her don’t change. They don’t get better, they can try and try and maybe, just maybe, they improve, but Hyouga likes to think that they don’t change – they just become more of who they really are.

And yes, Hyouga misses her. Because he remembers her lullabies. He remembers that she smiled, once. That she was happy for Hyouga, proud of Hyouga. Once upon a time, he’d say that she even loved him, before something got messed up, before she—

Before she just _stopped._

When Hyouga shoots into the goal, he doesn’t use his Avatar.

He uses Eternal Blizzard and he doesn’t get why – he’s got his own technique, he’s got Saya, he’s got his own ability and he’s confident in it, now. But this feels right. And he knows his mother recognizes it, because her eyes flip to Atsuya-senpai and Shirou-san below.

Maybe in a way, he’s saying goodbye.

Or at least, it hurts like he is.

The whistle blows three times and the match ends and Hyouga knows he bows down to Raimon, he knows he said, “Thank you for the game!” and he knows that he got off the field at the same time as everyone and yet, he lags behind and stops.

In the entrance, his mother stands.

Hyouga has a split-second of panic, like always when he sees her in unexpected place, ready to defend himself, to stand up for himself again, but she’s just staring at him, as if she was seeing someone completely different.

Hyouga thinks he gets it.

Maybe, she never stopped loving him. Maybe she was always loving someone else – a Yukimura Hyouga she made up in her own mind. Maybe she, too, was saying goodbye in her own strange way.

She steps forward and Hyouga only then becomes aware of the object in her hands. A black, fairly small case.

“It’s yours.”

Hyouga’s head snaps upwards and he gapes at her, searching for something, for any kind of trap, a error in thinking. Maybe it’s her idea of a joke—

She thrusts the case in his arms and along with it some papers Hyouga can’t bother to read now. He can’t look away from her face, the sharp edges, the dull eyes that are not lifeless, rather wild. Yes. Wild. Now, Hyouga can see it. She was never composed. Not really.

“I doubt there’s a right way to say it, Hyouga,” she begins and it’s cold, no longer confused like that night, “Perhaps we’re being cruel, me and your father.”

“Mom—?”

“I’m giving up,” she cuts him off.

Hyouga freezes.

“What?”

She glances away in revulsion, like she can’t bear to see him. Hyouga knows that look. He’s seen it before – it’s the face his mother makes when no one is looking. Her real expression, not the fake politeness.

“I thought I could do this, I thought you could see that you’re wrong, but I seem to be mistaken,” she’s saying and Hyouga can barely register her words, as burning as they are Hyouga feels like he’s freezing, “You’re moving out.”

Silence. Hyouga’s heart stops.

“Kotone is taking you in,” she explains, “She agreed, before you ask. There are legal actions, still, to make it official, but you father is taking care of is as we speak.”

Hyouga blinks.

“You’re abandoning me,” he whispers.

His mother, already turning away, doesn’t even pause, “No, Hyouga. I’m giving you a second chance to grow up like you always wanted.”

The violin in his hands seems heavier than it is, “A second chance,” he mumbles hollowly.

Almost already out of the corridor, Hyouga’s mother stops and looks over her shoulder, “Yes.”

She’s ready to leave. Hyouga knows.

He’s not done yet.

He can’t leave it like she is, or else he will hate himself for never saying that, for never letting his true feelings known. Anger burning inside of his chest, usually hidden under pretend ignorance, makes him raise his head even higher.

Maybe he will regret it.

Maybe.

“You hurt me.”

She shows no reaction.

“Yes.”

It hurts. It digs into Hyouga, tears apart something very precious, the very last memories of his mother’s soothing lullabies, replacing it with her current, emotionless face.

He tightens his arms around the case of the violin and grits his teeth and glares at her with all his might and she never—

“I hate you.”

She never flinches. She just nods, accepting. Hyouga feels himself breaking at the edges. (Because that’s not true, he could never hate her, he could never—)

“I know,” she says. And that’s that.

Then, she’s gone.

And with her gone is Hyouga’s anger and denial and everything he’s tried so hard to hide for the past two years. He may even be a little numb or maybe, he’s just feeling so much he can’t register it anymore.

Either way, Hyouga stands there until someone from his team comes looking for him.

He doesn’t speak the entire way back home.

 

* * *

 

Kou doesn’t ask.

Which saying a lot because she’s not the type of person to just let things be,  she gets right down to them because she would never, ever want anyone to suffer in silence. Hyouga knows it’s because she’s been through a lot and no one ever looked twice at her, no one really questioned why a talented piano player like her would throw it all away. They all excused it as being ‘lazy’.

So Kou doesn’t ask, but she sits down next to him and places a glowed hand over Hyouga’s bare one resting on a case of a violin and keeps silent. The touch is too much, and yet not enough at the same time, burning his skin, burning his lungs as he harshly breathes in.

“It doesn’t feel good, does it.” She speaks up quietly.

Hyouga bites his tongue to keep the words in, to not let himself be overcame with the overwhelming, crushing feel of disappointment, anger and sadness.

Kou needs no answers.

It’s chilly outside of the school and they’re sitting on the benches on the soccer field and Hyouga doesn’t get why it still hurts so bad, even though it’s what he wanted, even though his parents—

“I told you, before, didn’t I?” She starts, softly, “About the soccer club and why I joined.”

His throat is dry and he gets choked up, but he nods, “Yeah.”

“Piano is beautiful, Yukimura-kun. If you know how, you can create history with it. But I don’t like, because it always made me sad.”

“I remember.”

Kou nods, “My parents hate it. That I joined. That I don’t want to play, but the truth is, and I only realized it now watching you, that maybe, I just didn’t want to play for them.”

Hyouga’s breath hitches and his lip trembles, but he squeezes down the urge to cover his ears and not listen, and nods.

“ And that’s fine. Maybe I will play for myself one day,” she smiles to herself, looking up in the sky, “Sometimes, parents aren’t good at being parents. And that’s okay, you know why?”

Hyouga hesitantly glances at her, “Why?”

“Because there are people out there that care about us the same way they should, even though there are no blood bonds between us,” she lets that sink in, then squeezes his hand and lets go, glancing around, “It’s getting dark, isn’t it?”

Hyouga slowly turns to look as well, “Yeah.”

“My uncle will worry if I don’t come back home soon,” she muses to herself, then smiles at him, “Would you like a ride home?”

Hyouga is nearly hugging the case of the violin now as he shakes his head, “No, thanks. I think I will stay here for a while.”

Kou’s face falls down a little, but she nods understandingly, “Alright. You can call me if you need, remember.”

“I will.”

In truth, he never does.

 

* * *

 

Atsuya-senpai balances a ball on his knee, staring ahead at Hyouga running side by side with Kitaki-san, moving clumsily as if he was still a beginner.

He tilts his head at him, “Oi, Aniki,” he calls to him, gathering Shirou-san’s attention as the man looks over with a mix of concerned curiosity, “Remember that time Gouenji hit you with a ball because you were being stupid?”

Shirou-san’s eyes narrow in suspicion, “…yeah?”

Atsuya-senpai kicks the ball up, “I’m going to pull a ‘Gouenji’ on Yukimura,” he announces.

Shirou-san’s eye widen in alarm, “Wait. Atsuya, don’t!”

But the ball already flies over to where Hyouga stands with Kitaki-san, makes a turn in the air and hits oblivious Hyouga right into stomach, sending him flying to the edge of the field.

Itetsuki-san blinks at the spot where Hyouga was standing, then looks over at Hyouga on the ground, “Huh.”

“Don’t ‘Huh’ at us!” Ginjirou-san says sending him a distressed look, “Maybe help him?”

Itetsuki-san glances at Atsuya-senpai already coming in Hyouga’s direction and shakes his head, “Nah. Don’t bother, he brought it upon himself this time.”

Meanwhile Hyouga groans and clenches his arms around his stomach, squeezing his eyes shut. Atsuya-senpai shows no mercy and crouches in front of him, “How long are you going to keep it up, Chibi?”

Hyouga peeks one eye open at the man, “Senpai, why?”

“Because you’re a dumbass, that’s why.”

“Senpai!”

The man sighs and rolls his eyes, “Don’t whine, Yukimura. We both know it does nothing to help,” he narrows his eyes, “Better yet, how about you stop ignoring us?”

“I’m not—“

“Stupid doesn’t look good on you, Hyouga.”

Hyouga stills at that, surprised, before he relaxes enough to slowly meet Atsuya-senpai’s eyes, as if afraid of what he could see in them. Maybe it’s the fact that Atsuya-senpai dislikes lazy people who put no effort in anything, maybe Hyouga is just secretly scared of being cast out.

Of being abandoned.

“You already know.” Hyouga states more than he asks. Atsuya-senpai raises an eyebrow, “About Kotone-san.”

Realization dawns down on the man, and he nods, slightly, but so far he’s unbothered and Hyouga wonder why is that, why isn’t Atsuya-senpai more fazed about it?

Then, slowly, he gets it.

“You don’t care.”

“Well, it’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Atsuya-senpai scratches himself behind the ear, “You don’t have to live with you bastard parents anymore.”

Hyouga narrows his eyes, “It’s not—“ he cuts himself off.

Lately, as soon as he gets angry, the anger disappears even quicker and he doesn’t get it, but he knows it’s no use getting worked up over something as childish as Hyouga’s desire to have his feelings validated.

Atsuya-senpai is still looking at him, but this time, his efforts to comfort Hyouga don’t work. If anything, they make Hyouga feel worse.

He shakes his head and attempts a smile. As soon as Atsuya-senpai grits his teeth, he knows he’s not fooled, “Right. Sorry, Coach. I just remembered that Yamada-sensei wanted to talk to me,” he dusts his shorts off and stands up, “If you’ll excuse me.”

He’s gone in a matter of seconds.

And after that, he doesn’t come to practice for days.

 

* * *

 

To be completely honest, Hyouga should have expected that to happen.

After all, Miyuki-san is not someone who can be just brushed off, Fubuki Shirou is not an angel in disguise, and Fubuki Atsuya is an actual devil sometimes, so really. Hyouga should have known better.

He didn’t however, predict that the three of them would just ambush both Hyouga and Kotone when they are doing grocery shopping.

That, he thought, was off limits. Turns out, Hyouga was wrong once again and underestimated the power that is the three of them.

“I swear to Lord, Yukimura-kun, one day I will kill you for making me worry like this,” Miyuki-san rants as the five of them come inside her house, “First, you don’t show up at all like you usually do, then Atsuya tells me you’re acting stupid which is really – pardon my French – fucking vague, then Shirou comes in and tells me you’re moving out?”

She finally stops in the living room, throwing her jacket on the nearest object which just happened to be the table, “You’re all ridiculous and—“ and she halts, staring at Kotone as if she was seeing her for the first time and didn’t just kidnap her from the supermarket.

Kotone also freezes and looks up.

“Who the—“ she trails off, “Why do you look like that?”

Kotone blinks, looks at Hyouga but he shrugs helplessly, then again at Miyuki-san, “Like…what?”

“Like a fashion disaster, maybe?” Miyuki-san answers bluntly, “You don’t look that better than Yukimura-kun and he’s allowed to, from time to time, since he’s a growing boy, but—“

Shirou-san steps in, gentle as he places a hand on Kotone’s shoulder, “How about we talk this over with tea and cookies?”

Atsuya-senpai throws himself on the couch, “Yeah, and coffee,” he pauses, “Please.”

Kotone visibly relaxes when the attention is off her but even then that doesn’t escape Miyuki-san’s sharp eyes and she probably notes it down somewhere in her mind, “I guess,” she says, “It wouldn’t hurt,” she crosses her arms as she glances at Kotone, “Coffee or tea?”

“Um—“

Miyuki-san raises an eyebrow when Kotone seems to just stare at her and the dark-haired woman snaps out of some kind of trance and turns red, realizing that adults should not panic at question like that and she mumbles, “Whatever is fine, miss…?”

Miyuki-san’s eyes soften a bit but she still looks stern, “Miyuki is fine.”

“Miyuki-san, then.”

Shirou-san smiles to himself, suddenly. Only then does Hyouga realize that he himself has started out like Kotone, too. Even though Miyuki-san despises the –san being attached to her name and prefers nothing or –chan, Hyouga never could bring himself to call her that.

It’s weird that Shirou-san remembers it.

Then again, Shirou-san remembers a lot of things, like that time Atsuya-senpai thought of his first hissatsu technique, or that time Kitaki-san slipped on a banana slip which Hyouga has no idea what it was doing in the gym, or even when Hyouga mentioned liking cats that one time and month later Shirou-san showed him Nana.

“You’re probably thinking I’m weird, huh,” Miyuki-san begins as she walks back into the room with a tray with mugs and cookies, “Sorry for that. And if I made you uncomfortable. I was just worried for Yukimura-kun.”

Hyouga lets out an embarrassed noise, “I’m sorry.”

“Good,” Miyuki-san narrows her eyes, “I don’t appreciate being ignored like this. Neither does Atsuya or Shirou.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats louder.

Miyuki-san nods, then looks at Kotone staring at the snowflake patterned mug. She smiles weakly at the sight of it, “You’re all good people, huh,” she whispers.

Hyouga stiffens a little at that, but doesn’t try to move away when Shirou-san moves a little closer so their shoulders are touching. The presence of him is somehow calming, maybe because Shirou-san’s aura is just naturally soothing, like a mother’s touch.

“I’d be offended if you thought we’re the bad guys,” Atsuya-senpai comments with a mouthful of cookies.

Kotone grimaces, “You have to forgive me. I’m not used to—“ she cuts herself off this time, “To people this kind. Maybe I presumed too much.”

Atsuya-senpai takes another cookie, the coconut one Hyouga was aiming for, making the smaller one glare at the offending hand. Atsuya-senpai just grins at him, purposely slowly chewing on the piece.

“That doesn’t explain much.”

“You’re right,” Kotone frowns, then smiles apologetically, “I’m sorry. I’m usually more composed than that.”

Hyouga tries to make himself smaller, somehow still managing to feel bad about Kotone and her situation. It’s almost as if he was taking the blame for something he had no control over. Maybe it’s the deep bangs under Kotone’s eyes, and messy, oily hair that sticks to her skin that hurts Hyouga. Maybe he just automatically blames himself for everything now.

Either way, he feels himself slipping and he presses closer to Shirou-san, hoping to not seem stupid or pathetic for needing comfort over something like this.

But it’s Shirou-san. And Hyouga, he—

He _trusts_ him.

As irresponsible as it is, putting faith in yet another adult, that’s how Hyouga feels about him and Atsuya-senpai and Miyuki-san. They’re just like that – they make people like Hyouga and Kotone realize how mistreated they were for most of their lives.

“I meet someone, a long time ago,” Kotone continues as Shirou-san’s hand lifts to rest on Hyouga’s head, “Someone bad. I only recently managed to get away from them. Maybe I’m still getting over the fact that not everyone is like him.”

“Seems a bit unfair, though,” Miyuki-san comments dryly.

Kotone laughs awkwardly, “I know, I’m sor—“

“No. I meant you. You shouldn’t have to be afraid of people like that.”

Kotone blinks.

Hyouga relaxes slightly.

“Pardon me?”

Miyuki-san still stares at her, but this time, unbothered, “You’re scared, aren’t you?”

“I’m—“

“I get it, I mean,” Miyuki-san pauses, swallowing a cookie, “I saw Yukimura-kun, coming to me, and he would never admit it, so—“

Hyouga tenses again, but this time, Shirou-san acts on it, “You still have our old yearbook, don’t you?”

Miyuki-san looks irritated at being interrupted, then sees Hyouga practically hiding himself in Shirou-san’s side and nods, “In my bedroom. You can show it to him, but don’t touch my—“

“I’m not Atsuya to go through your stuff,” Shirou-san gets up as Atsuya-senpai makes an offended noise.

“I don’t go through her stuff,” at their looks, he rolls his eyes, “I respect her boundaries, what am I? A barbarian?” he huffs, “I was investigating. That’s different.”

“Sure is,” Shirou-san throws over his shoulder as he guides Hyouga down the corridor, “Come on. You’re going to love this.”

Atsuya-senpai looks at them, then shrugs and steals the whole plate of cookies, “More for me then.”

* * *

 

Hyouga can’t help but gape in awe when Shirou-san brings out a massive book and opens it on the first page.

“That’s—“

“Atsuya, yes,” Shirou-san hoists the book higher on his lap when Hyouga leans even more into his side to peer at the picture, “This was taken in our elementary school.”

“So tiny,” he whispers, then his eyes widen seeing the one beside Atsuya-senpai, “Shirou-san, you look so similar.”

Shirou-san hums to himself, “That’s true.”

Then, Hyouga hesitates, “That was, uh,” he gulps, “Before. Right? Before the—“

Shirou-san seems to not understand what Hyouga is trying to get at and to be completely honest Hyouga doesn’t know if he wants to bring it up, so he shakes his head and hides his uneasiness in a over-polite smile, “Nevermind that, Shirou-san,” then he points to someone in the back, “That’s Miyuki-san, right?”

The unwavering gaze doesn’t let go for even a second, but Shirou-san lets it go and accepts the topic change, “Yes. She went to the same—,” Shirou-san cuts himself off, “Actually. I didn’t know she did.”

Hyouga glances at him, “What do you mean?”

Shirou-san smiles sheepishly, “I guess I didn’t pay attention back then,” he turns the page, “And afterwards, it all went downhill with the avalanche and—“ he cuts himself off, eyes darkening a little at memory and Hyouga doesn’t understand, not really, he never lost anyone like that, “Well. Stuff happens all the time, Yukimura.”

Hyouga thinks for a moment, then, “You didn’t like my parents, did you, Shirou-san?”

For a moment, it’s quiet. It’s as if Shirou-san was wondering how to answer, but Hyouga knows better than that.

“No,” he says at last, “I did not.”

Hyouga’s memory flashes to that one moment when Shirou-san finally snapped, when he just couldn’t handle Hyouga allowing himself to be treated like an object and defending someone like his parents. It reminds Hyouga that Shirou-san is really protective, but he would never just force his will on anyone. It’s not like the man wanted Hyouga to suffer, Hyouga knows this.

It’s because Shirou-san is just so different than Atsuya-senpai, because Atsuya-senpai wouldn’t wait for Hyouga to make his decision if it got too out of hand, he’d just get him out of there because that’s how Atsuya-senpai is. He’s rough around edges, but he cares a big deal. It’s something Hyouga struggles to accept.

For someone like Hyouga, Atsuya-senpai was an enemy at first. However, Shirou-san has that vibe around him, he’s calm, he’s composed, he’s just soothing. Not emotionless or cold like Hyouga’s mother, but warm in a way his parents never could.

It makes Hyouga’s greedy heart wish that Fubuki Shirou was his parent instead.

“I miss them,” Hyouga whispers in a moment of vulnerability, “I know I shouldn’t.”

Shirou-san visibly hesitates, “I don’t think you shouldn’t. That’s normal, Yukimura.”

“They hurt me.”

“So did many people before them apparently,” he points out and Hyouga stiffens, “And yet, you miss some of them, don’t you?”

“…yes.”

“Well, the way I see it, you made a good decision,” Shirou-san turns another page in the book but Hyouga doesn’t pay attention, he’s staring somewhere ahead, seeing something no one beside Hyouga can see, “Even if it hurts. Sometimes, we have to make choices that hurt, so we can  learn.”

Hyouga hunches his shoulders, “I’m tired.”

Shirou-san pauses as he turns another page then does the same thing Atsuya-senpai has taken liking to – ruffles Hyouga’s hair and makes it even messier than it usually is, “I know.”

Hyouga is suddenly overwhelmed with a need to cry.

It may be because he’s not used to being around people so caring, maybe the fact that not so long ago his teammates threw him a birthday party and they enjoyed Hyouga’s company, maybe the fact that Shirou-san doesn’t offer meaningless words of comfort – maybe all this is just so weird and amazing at the same time makes Hyouga tear up.

Or perhaps, it’s because all of it is getting to him just now. The fear of being around his parents leaving, being constantly scared of having what he loves taken away from him. They say that sometimes, you cry after the bad thing happens. Hyouga thinks that’s this moment.

“It will all change now,” Hyouga says quietly and he wraps his arms around himself and in the silence of the room, it feels like he’s being honest for the first time, “I bet Miyuki-san won’t want me around anymore.”

Shirou-san nearly recoils, “Pardon?”

Hyouga ducks his head, “I won’t be next door now. And she won’t want to visit me all the time and Kotone-san isn’t going to drive me all the time, and I don’t have enough money for bus and you will get mad if I walk alone in dark to visit Miyuki-san and I don’t want you to be mad, Shirou-san—“

“Hold on—“

“—and what if I have to change schools again? And, and I don’t want it all to change, I just—“

“Yukimura—“

“—Atsuya-senpai won’t visit me either, he _hates_ buses—“

“Hyouga-kun!”

Hyouga’s mouth snaps shut and he curls up on himself even more, “I’m sorry,” he whispers meekly.

Shirou-san turns so he can face Hyouga better and tips Hyouga’s chin up when he stubbornly tries to glare holes in the carpet, “So that’s what’s been on your mind the whole time?” Hyouga doesn’t look at him, lip trembling and body tense as if he was expecting a blow, “That we will just leave because it’s not convenient anymore?”

There’s a beat of silence but Hyouga finally manages to choke out, “…everyone does.”

He doesn’t cry. Hyouga thinks he can’t even if he wanted to, but his entire body shakes and he desperately wants it to stop, because Shirou-san is here and he doesn’t want to embarrass himself even more but once he starts, he can’t stop and he just waits for it to be over.

Shirou-san must have sensed it, too – Hyouga’s state of mind because he lets go of his chin and sighs, but not in a annoyed manner but in a ‘I-understand-it’s-hard-but-I-wish-you-have-told-me-this-sooner’ kind of way.

“I guess that’s to be expected, after what you went through, but,” Shirou-san says with a frown, “I didn’t realize you would think we’d leave you behind.”

Hyouga sniffles.

“I’m sorry.”

Shirou-san’s frown intensifies and he sighs again – he tends to do that a lot lately – before he just grabs Hyouga and hugs him, just tightly enough to not suffocate Hyouga who’s just generally not used to being showed affection, “You’re just like Atsuya sometimes.”

Hyouga doesn’t react to that, but he presses closer anyways, because he kind of wants that reassurance right now, the physical comfort of having someone right there, someone who doesn’t just belittle him and doesn’t make Hyouga beg for praise and just gives it. Shirou-san is just that kind and he doesn’t make Hyouga want to recoil, which Hyouga honestly haven’t expected.

It’s not exactly cheering him up.

It’s just making sure Hyouga knows someone is there for him and won’t leave. Somehow, it does  more than any kind of sugar-coated words Shirou-san could have said to him but never did.

 _Ah,_ Hyouga realizes, closing his eyes, _maybe that’s what having a family feels like._

* * *

 

Hyouga doesn’t have a lot of baggage to take. It’s actually pretty sad, but he’s grown used to moving houses and having a lot of stuff was never convenient so Hyouga learned to not hoard things. In the end, he manages to pack everything in one suitcase and a large sports bag he found laying under the bed.

He doesn’t even say goodbye and his parents don’t glance at him when he walks out the door.

It should hurt and Hyouga knows it will when he actually registers he won’t be coming back there, but at this moment, he feels a little detached. Not really numb, there are tears in the corners of his eyes because say what he can, he actually thought he mattered to his parents enough to at least receive one, last hug.

Apparently, it’s too much to ask.

He’s not full out crying, though, and Kotone notices that and doesn’t comment. She knows there’s no point in doing so.

“It will get better, at some point,” she says once they get into her car, “It doesn’t feel good right now, though, huh?”

Hyouga bites his tongue, but nods.

Kotone’s eyes linger on him, before she turns the engine on, “It won’t for a while. It will hurt – excuse my language – like a bitch and you will be regretting every second of making that choice. Trust me. I know.”

Hyouga wraps his jacket tighter around himself, “I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

“Like what?”

The radio is playing some classical tunes that Hyouga recognizes but doesn’t know why – probably something Atsuya-senpai played, but even so, it’s  mostly silent when Hyouga answers, “Like it’s my fault.”

Kotone reads between the lines.

“You’re lucky, Hyouga,” she says, focusing on the road again, “I don’t have any close friends. I don’t have a coach behind me or a lady who’s ready to rip anyone who hurts you to shreds,” she glances at him, when Hyouga hesitantly meets her eyes in the mirror, “But you do.”

It feels heavy – the admittance of it.

“ _Two_ coaches,” he corrects without thinking.

Kotone smiles to herself, “Yes,” then she sighs, “So there’s one option that’s left for you, one that will certainly make it easier for you.”

“What?”

“The only way to forget about the bad memories and people who hurt you,” she doesn’t look at him, “Is to make better memories and meet better people who will support you and love you and help you in any way they can. Because they think you’re worth it.”

“But—“

“Don’t deprive them of that choice, Hyouga. Don’t cut them off just because you’re scared they will do it sooner,” Hyouga swallows and turns his head away, “I met those people. They’re not going to abandon you.”

“I’m not— It will be a bother for them.”

“It’s their choice.”

Hyouga doesn’t have anything to say to that and spends the entire drive to Kotone’s new place thinking about her words.

 

* * *

 

Hyouga doesn’t unpack everything on the first go. His new room is empty and ugly white and everything is just so bland. Kotone says it will change in time, that he can paint the walls, they will buy more furniture and make sure it’s not so unwelcoming.

Hyouga only nods to that. It feels overwhelming, being there. But he deals.

The only thing Hyouga DOES bring out of his suitcase, is the frame with the picture of his team that he got on his birthday.

He pauses, seeing that on the back, something sticks out of the frame and he gently pries it open.

On the back of the photo there are signatures of the whole team. It’s large, but even so, Hyouga’s surprised to see that even Shirou-san and Atsuya-senpai wrote their names.

Then, at the very bottom of it. In a very neat handwriting that immediately tells Hyouga it wasn’t Atsuya-senpai, “We’re here for you.”

_For you. For Yukimura Hyouga._

A simple cheesy one line.

Hyouga puts the picture back in the frame and places it right beside his bed.

He wonders, if that’s the secret backdoor he’s been looking for the entire time. Maybe sometimes, a backdoor is not really a door and rather a window that you have to burst through.

But he doesn’t think he needs to. Wonder, that is. Not anymore, at least.

He has a family, after all. They were all waiting for him behind the backdoor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should probably be asleep, pls appreciate me staying up to post this

**Author's Note:**

> i would die for Yukimura Hyouga, he's my SON


End file.
